How Love Inspired Me Through Eating Disorder Recovery
Recovery from eating disorders, and recovery from mental illnesses in general, can be strenuous. Recovery is a journey full of ups and downs, forwards and backwards movement and constant triggers. It took a lot of time and energy for me to learn what my triggers were. There were times I felt so far away from full recovery that I wasn’t sure if it would ever happen. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see the light.
I remember the first time I told my partner about my eating disorder. I said I was in recovery — I didn’t say I was recovered, so that meant there was still a long journey ahead of me. A journey I wasn’t quite sure if he was up for or not. But he was more than up for it — he was all in.
All those moments I was up at night contemplating my worth, all those times of self-hatred — he was there to hear it and to provide me the support, strength and words I needed to hear to help pull me away from the darkness.
You see, recovery was never meant to be a linear path. It pulls you backwards and forwards and up and down so that you can be grateful for the strength you’ve built along the way. Recovery was never meant to be done alone, either.
My partner never gave up on me — he stuck by me through it all and helped lift me up when I needed it the most. He’s a guy with an extraordinary heart that’s devoted and loving and that makes him more than super to me. He turns seemingly ordinary words into an extraordinary feeling of inspiration and love. He’ll forever be my superhero for staying by me and giving me the inspiration needed to learn to fight for and love myself.
I think one of the things someone in recovery needs most is inspiration. I know I needed the feeling that there was something more for me to live for and look forward to. Love was just that. He provided me the support and love that helped inspire me to make choices that helped me truly live. Being with him didn’t just help me survive, it helped me thrive. He’s my superhero — he’s who I look up to when I think about someone who does good and selfless acts outside of themselves, who sticks around even when it’s tough and is not afraid to stand up to a challenge. He protected, supported and walked with me through life’s trials, not knowing what he would face, but he did it anyways because he’s brave and kind. His heart was — and still is — my saving grace.
I hope anyone with a mental illness or who is in recovery can find their love and inspiration too. It helps shine a light amidst the darkness. It helps provide the hope people need to continue fighting. To my superhero — you’re my guiding light out of a journey of darkness.
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