To the Little Girl in Pretty Pink Dresses With Depression
Big plastic playgrounds and pretty pink dresses
Fairytales and butterfly kisses
Boo-boos and band-aids,
This is how things should have been
A tiny little girl with great big dreams
Lover of life and everything
But unfortunately the world is cruel
And it broke her heart in two
The littlest girl with the biggest dreams
Lover of life and everything
But unfortunately the world is cruel
And it broke her heart in two
The littlest girl with the biggest dreams
Began to only wear long-sleeves
The playgrounds and dresses became too small
As her beautiful smile began to fall
Those fairytale endings never came true
As her heart grew quite a bruise
The boo-boos turned to cuts
And the only band-aid was a half smile to cover them up
Bedtime stories became nightmares
And that childhood joy disappeared
This isn’t what life should’ve done
To the little lover of everyone
But unfortunately life had another plan
And what shouldn’t be is what happened
Those big dreams disappeared
As breathing became her biggest fear
She felt more pain than scars could ever show
As all her hope crashed so low
The little girl in pretty pink dresses
Should’ve only had finger paint messes
But instead she got suicidal thoughts
Things that should never cross a little girl’s mind
Managed to overtake her life
No one could understand
The racing thoughts inside her head
Or the pictures in her mind
That she was lost inside
The littlest girl with the biggest dreams
Desperately longed to be free
But she was trapped inside
The things that stole her life
Those pretty pink dresses, cute as could be
With the strongest child you’ll ever meet
And even when life tore her apart
She still had a sweet child’s heart
Even loving the ones who hurt her most
The only thing she couldn’t do
Was to love herself too
As all the things he said
Took root inside her head
Believing she deserved the pain
Covered by her half smile band-aid
To the little girl in pretty pink dresses:
You only deserved finger paint messes
But no matter how much she heard the truth
Lies were still what took root
And the little girl in pretty pink dresses
Had psychiatric admissions
Her dresses were replaced with paper pants
Since they said she could hurt herself with them
A makeover look; edgy and chic
With charcoal for her lipstick
A yellow shirt, bright as the sun
Yelling out “I’m the crazy one!”
Happy pills replaced happy meals
But they didn’t work very well
Happy pills and chill pills
Expressions became so literal
Psych wards became like home
At least there she wasn’t alone
So the little girl in pretty pink dresses
Wasn’t allowed to make finger paint messes
The paint was toxic
And dresses were dangerous
ER trips became expected
They were full of familiar faces
Finger paint was locked away
With everything else, so she’d be safe
Little did they know
She stooped living long ago
Her heart had not stopped beating
But she was really just existing
No one ever asked her why
She tried so hard to die
The only thing she lived
Was her past, over and over again
Oh, how much she wished
That she could just forget
About all of it
If only she could go back to pretty pink dresses
Making all of the finger paint messes
Deep down inside
Beneath the pain she tried to hide
She was still in there
Drowning in her tears
Beneath the pain she tried to hide
She was still in there
Drowning in her tears
Beneath the paper pants
And her charcoal lipstick
Under the half smile band-aids
And scars on her thighs
Through the lies that took root
And broke her heart in two
Somewhere in there was a little girl
With a real smile, who loved the world
Wearing pretty pink dresses
While she made finger paint messes
The littlest girl with the biggest dreams
Determined to set herself free
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “HOME” to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.
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Thinkstock photo via natialie_board