When a Security Guard Pulled Out My Diapers While Inspecting My Bag
At 35 years old, I look like I am in relatively good health. But underneath my outward appearance, I battle a chronic condition called autonomic neuropathy. I have been battling this condition for close to 10 years. As the years have passed, my conditions have either intensified, or new conditions have developed to add to the ones I already have. Some of these conditions (and there are more) are classified as breathing difficulty, tachycardia and hypertension, problems with digestion such as trouble swallowing and irritable bowel syndrome, and incontinence.
Many of my conditions I can conceal quite well and essentially have no effect on my outward appearance. This includes my incontinence with pads (briefs/diapers) to protect my clothing and keep my bladder and bowel control a private matter free from public view. However, due to my incontinence, I have to carry a small backpack with incontinence supplies that I need for extended excursions away from home.
Recently, I went on an extended vacation with my wife to one of the major theme parks close to where I live. Now, when entering a theme park, going through security is usually not a problem. However, this trip was different. Upon entering the park, all bags and backpacks are searched by the security guards to look for dangerous objects. Nothing in my backpack would be considered as such. So I have no problem with security searching my bag. Every other time I have visited the park, security has always been very professional with concealing my potentially embarrassing medical condition. My incontinence is not something I wish to put on display. This time however, the guard at the gate decided to pull all of my supplies out of my bag and lay them out on the table for other guests to see.
This situation made me very uncomfortable and I started to wonder what the other guests in the area were thinking. So while the guard was searching my bag, I tried to gather my supplies and I attempted to hide them in my arms, but it was to no avail. The guests in my immediate area had already seen the supplies I was trying to hide. Which left me with diapers in my hand and an embarrassed and panicked look on my face. I was mortified. I looked up from the table and the couple across from me had a crooked smile on their face and were looking at the floor. I thought they were laughing at me.
Now, I have learned throughout my life that when I am in doubt, it is helpful to ask for an objective point of view just to see if my assumptions are valid. After examining the situation upon entering the gates, I discussed, in a rather anxious sort of way, the previous scenario with my wife. I asked her about the people around me. She stated that she did not believe the people around me were laughing at me, but were rather embarrassed for me and felt like they were in disbelief that the guard was putting me through this. Their smiles were not one of ridicule, but of pity. By looking down at the floor, my wife felt that they were trying to give me what little privacy I was trying to salvage.
After I calmed down and my night carried on, I began to enjoy myself in the park and reflect on my previous predicament. I asked myself if it was worth going through all the anxiety I expended previously that evening. The rumination on the previous events took away the time I should have been experiencing by enjoying my wife’s company while on our vacation. I cannot get that time back. So was it worth it? I would have to say no.
In the end, I concluded that my feelings were unnecessary. Yes, the situation was embarrassing. But the people around me did not react the way I thought they would. The fact that a stranger may see that I wear diapers does not change who I am as a person. It does not take away the fact that I am a good person, or a great husband and father. Just because I have to wear diapers for a medical condition that is beyond my control does not define who I am as a person. Underneath, I am still a great human being and I bring something positive to those around me. And I’m good with that!
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