Anger, resentment, sadness. These are just a few of the emotions I still deal with from the loss of my dad five years ago, and I’m tired of having to act as if they’re somehow less legitimate because I lost him five years ago.
They say time heals everything, but I’d like to respectfully disagree with that notion. Time makes things a little more blurry around the edges. Time serves as a constant reminder that my dad is no longer with me. There are days when the emotions I feel from losing my dad nearly consume me, and I am hard-pressed to be able to focus on anything else.
On these days, I try to remind myself I should be grateful to feel the emotions I am feeling, as they simply mean I had someone in my life who meant more to me than I could have ever possibly imagined.
Some people say that only weak men cry and show emotion, but I’d also like to call bullsh*t on that one as well. As far as I’m concerned, I can cry until I can cry no longer. Crying helps me heal, and as I slowly feel the tears brush down my cheeks, I am reminded that there will be a day with joy.
So the next time I’m feeling down and someone asks me how long it’s been since I’ve lost my dad, I’ll just say an eternity. They might be confused by that answer, but it’s honestly what it feels like on some days.
Five years ago, I lost a piece of me, so don’t tell me what emotions I can or cannot show.
I’m stronger because I cry.
I’m stronger because I show emotion.
It’s OK to show emotions, guys.
After all, we have hearts, too.
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