'Do Not Let That Light Go Out': Fighting Through the Darkness of Chronic Illness


Weariness – this is a feeling those of us living with chronic illness know all too well. Day in and day out, many of us push past our limits to accomplish basic, everyday tasks. These tasks would be finished quickly by the average person, without being given a second thought. To us, they can seem like a marathon.

We have to weigh the costs vs. benefits of doing them: Will taking a shower leave us with enough energy to do our homework (or housework, for those not in school)? It’s a balancing game, one that often leaves us hanging off the edge of the tightrope. The longer we do this, the harder it gets.

It becomes increasingly difficult when there are very few people we can trust to stand by us and to catch us when we fall. We may begin to lose hope, wondering if we will ever move forward and leave this dark place behind us. In these times, we must remember there is no light without darkness. We need to hold on, and continue to hope.

“Do not let that light go out.” – Nehemia to Celaena, “Crown of Midnight” (“Throne of Glass” Book 2, by Sarah J. Maas)

This quote has stayed with me since I read that book in December. Nehemia knew her friend Celaena was in a very dark place. She knew how hard it was to hope, and how easy it was for Celaena to let go. Yet, she did everything in her power to keep her friend on the right path. This simple quote is what keeps Celaena anchored.

After reading it, it keeps me anchored too. We can hate the world for putting us in a difficult situation – such as battling chronic illness – and let our light go out, or we can continue to persevere and nourish the light inside of us. When we can’t do this by ourselves, we must try to surround ourselves with people who will lift us up and encourage us to keep fighting. It is certainly easier said than done, but it is worth it.

Always remember you are loved, and you can do it. You can fight this battle. Do not let that light go out.

This post originally appeared on The Marfan Muggleborn.

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