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To Those Who Have Trouble With Self-Love


Self-love sounds like such an easy concept. Writing about it seems quite ludicrous sometimes. However, more often than not, I find myself struggling. I find it hard to come out of the wallowing pits of self-pity and I fail to tune out the harsh, mean voices that point out every single one of my flaws. How in these moments am I to practice self-love? It is for these moments that I am writing this note to myself (and for anyone else who needs it):

You may be having a hard day, week, month, year or decade. Whichever it is, it sucks, at least in the moment. You may not be able to recall a memory, or you can’t hold on to a tangible anchor that makes you feel anything but this. But hey, you know what? It’ll be fine. Stop rolling your eyes and listen (out loud or loudly in your head). You will be OK! Maybe not in the next moment, or the next day or the next week. But sometime soon. Until then, just live. You don’t need to have good days. Just have a day. Remember to eat, drink and take those meds. Sleep if you can. If you can, get out of that bed. Even if it is just to the floor. Does it feel like a nightmare? I promise you, nightmares end. So will this.

Self-love is not pretty. It is not beautiful. It is not poetic. It definitely is not easy. But it is worth it. There will be a day, or at least moment in a day, where you won’t understand why you were so unhappy. There will be a time (I promise you) when smiling won’t feel like a Herculean task. In fact, that day might just be around the corner. Until then, extend a fraction of that compassion and understanding you freely give towards others, to yourself. You don’t need to deserve self-love — it is yours all along.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.

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Thinkstock photo via Grandfailure