10 Ways to Love Yourself When You Live With Lupus


“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

It can be a very hard task to love yourself beyond the pain that lupus brings, but it is necessary. There are a couple of steps you can take to begin the process of just loving who you are beyond lupus.

1. Begin your day with love.

In order for you to get through the hard days, try starting your day in meditation and positive thoughts to saturate your being with love. You have to spend time focusing inward daily to clear the path to a better day beyond your pain.

2. Speak happy over you.

Yes, it is difficult to deal and fight lupus day to day. That is the reality. You have to use positive affirmations sometimes just to get the day started in the most productive way you can. Don’t continue to self-criticize yourself and make your moments even more difficult than they need to be.

3. Get honest with how you feel.

You have to get honest as to how you feel about your battle with lupus. Acknowledge those feelings and begin to process them so you can begin to heal emotionally. The masks you place to hide lupus must be removed in order for you to heal emotionally to deal with lupus positively and purposefully. Realize how important your emotional state is to healing your body beyond the constant pain.

4. Allow yourself to relax.

Breathe, relax and let go. It can be hard with the pain but it is necessary to stop fighting against yourself in order to understand and deal with your emotions during pain. You have to let your body and spirit rest before your body and mind force you to.

5. Be patient with yourself.

Stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over. It is not your fault you have lupus. Don’t be so hard on yourself that you create a double fight with your body and spirit. Be patient with yourself in going through the process of dealing with a chronic illness.

6. Accept uncertainty.

Lupus is so unpredictable and as a warrior, it’s important to accept that. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it has to be accepted so you can live in your present moment in peace.

7. Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for being your harshest critic during your most difficult times. Having lupus is no easy feat but forgiving yourself for not being able to do what you want to will give you the strength to accept it all and move peacefully in your moments. Forgive yourself for judging you in the times when you need to love you most.

8. Be real.

Be real about how you feel at all times. The time has come to stop hiding behind the masks of lupus. Be real with how you allow yourself to be seen, known and heard. Grow more comfortable allowing people in your world of lupus pain so you are not creating a super human to those who misunderstand what lupus is.

9. Focus on the positive.

Get in your head and heart that you are amazing beyond lupus. Yes, you have pain which can create some major setbacks, but you are still able to fight. Get positively in tune with you.

10. Seek professional help.

Lupus is hard to deal with and it can create in you a self-rejection and neglect that can be extremely painful. You deserve to be happy beyond lupus. You have a right to be accepted and loved by you. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counselor or coach. It will be the best investment you will make.

Loving yourself can be one of the hardest things to do while battling lupus. We can get down on ourselves and notice every flaw. We may focus on who we used to be instead of the greatness of who we are in this moment. You have to work at reconditioning your love of self. Begin to do what you need to do to make yourself feel good, to make yourself happy. Don’t try and be perfect, but be proud of who you are beyond the limits lupus imposes.

This post originally appeared on Lupus in Color.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Photo via Tom Merton on Getty Images

TOPICS
, Contributor list
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Related to Lupus

woman sitting at a desk looking stressed

How to Care for Yourself When the Stress of Current Events Feels Overwhelming

NewThe thing about having a chronic illness like lupus is that the world keeps turning and being frustrating, even when you would really appreciate a vacation from it all. The last year or so has been particularly difficult. Whether its mass shootings, daily allegations of sexual abuse by men we admire or just the hate-filled [...]

When Lupus Made My Hair Fall Out

It has been four years since my last flare-up. For those of you who aren’t familiar with autoimmune diseases, I’ll give you the foot notes version. A flare is when your body goes from being in remission (acting normally) to being out of remission, and begin to attack itself. The result can be mild or [...]
A photo of the writer sitting in a chemo chair.

When I Realized I Wasn't Getting a Chemo Graduation Certificate for My Lupus

Today was my last day on a chemotherapy drug used to treat my lupus, which can be used to treat other forms of  autoimmune diseases and cancers. I have been on this treatment for six long grueling months due to the lupus attacking my brain, spinal cord and nervous system. As I sat down in my [...]
woman looking at her computer in shock

Please Don't Judge a Lupus Warrior's Health Choices

Dear concerned citizen, This may come as a surprise, but your advice is not always solicited, warranted or helpful in a lupus warrior’s fight. It can sometimes be overwhelming and obnoxious to say the least. It’s easy for someone to tell you not to take the medications – they are only making you sicker. It’s easy for [...]