Please Don't Judge a Lupus Warrior's Health Choices

Dear concerned citizen,

This may come as a surprise, but your advice is not always solicited, warranted or helpful in a lupus warrior’s fight. It can sometimes be overwhelming and obnoxious to say the least.

It’s easy for someone to tell you not to take the medications – they are only making you sicker. It’s easy for someone to tell you that the pharmaceutical companies are making money on creating medications that make you dependent on them. It’s easy for people to pass judgment because you choose to take the medications that keep you alive and operational. It’s easy for people to say you should just go with natural products, or just smoke marijuana, or simply change your eating habits and you’ll be cured. It’s easy for people to say your doctor is taking you for a ride, pumping you with medicine that is obviously not working because you are still sick.

It’s easy when you are not battling day to day. When you don’t have to fight to do simple things like get up, brush your teeth, interact with your family. It’s easy when you don’t know anything about what lupus does to a body and how it can ravish and destroy the little soul left after pain killed the rest. It’s easy to say things that don’t help but hurt, or to speak without thinking about how it will affect the person who is not just sick but chronically ill.

Dear concerned citizen, it’s not easy to make the health choices you must make to survive to live a normal life in spite of lupus. It’s not easy to come to the conclusion that your life is forever changed by something that can potentially take your last breath. It’s not as easy as just doing a, b, c or d. If it was ,we would do it all simply and enjoy a cure. So many people give advice with no knowledge or skills that can assist. It can be frustrating, heartbreaking and painful to endure.

So, before you decide to give unsolicited medical advice, please take a moment to think before you speak, know before you make judgments and learn before you tell others how they should take care of their own health. Your support is appreciated, your judgment and lack of knowledge of what my health care needs are is not.

Love as we fight,

Lupus warriors worldwide

This post originally appeared on Lupus in Color.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Lupus

selena gomez sitting on staircase

Selena Gomez Perfectly Explains What So Many Feel About Their Scars

Coming to terms with the scars on your body after a major surgery can be a difficult process. After her kidney transplant, Selena Gomez experienced what many others with chronic illnesses have faced, and recently revealed how she learned to feel empowered by her scar. Gomez was named Billboard’s 2017 Woman of the Year, and in an [...]
A woman taking a selfie, smiling.

When You Can't Control Your Illness

I watched an Instagram video of P. Diddy, formerly known as Puffy and now known as Brother Love, giving a speech at a business school graduation commencement. The speech reinvigorated the 10/90 rule. He was seemingly trying to inspire whatever next generation of leaders into action, when he changed the game for me. He said, “There is [...]
An illustration of a woman with her head in a cloud that is raining.

When I Find Myself in a Seasonal Depression Because of My Health

My lupus went into remission right before my 30th birthday, and I’d spent the 16 years leading up to that day fighting the illness that wreaked havoc on many aspects of my life and health. Getting diagnosed at 13-years-old was challenging, not just because of the diagnosis itself, but because the teenage years themselves are [...]
Woman face. watercolor illustration

How I Overcame Feelings of Jealousy After My Lupus Diagnosis

Before being diagnosed with lupus, I was praised a lot at work. I was always quick on my toes, able to work long hours, and was always looked up to for my ability to handle stress easily. I received many awards and much praise, and expectations were high. About a year into my career I [...]