Rapper Logic Says He Was Hospitalized After Experiencing Derealization Disorder

You probably know Logic from his song named after the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, “1-800-273-8255,” and his powerful performance at the Video Music Awards this year. The song successfully shared suicide prevention resources with young listeners with calls to the lifeline increasing 50 percent after his VMA performance.

In an interview with CBS News’ Sunday Morning show this week, the rapper got personal about his own struggles with mental health. Logic shared that his mother also had a mental illness and that both his parents struggled with addiction. Although Logic never attempted suicide himself, in 2015, he started struggling with his mental health and was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with derealization disorder.

While derealization — a feeling of detachment from one’s surroundings, mental processes or body — is a fairly common symptom of anxiety, it can become a disorder when the feelings are persistent and interfere with your day-to-day life.

“It’s an intense form of anxiety where you feel like you’re almost separated, and there’s a filter between you and reality at all times because you’re hyper-analyzing the situations around you,” Logic said in the interview.

In a piece about experiencing derealization and depersonalization during panic attacks, Mighty contributor Rachel Gearinger explained:

Derealization is a fancy word for feeling like you are detached from your surroundings. When I experience this during panic attacks, everything around me feels unfamiliar. I could be in my bedroom, surrounded by things I’ve seen many times, like my cat, my bed or my clothes. Yet, I feel like I’m in a strange world. I feel like an alien who was beamed down into a random house.

Not only this, but things around me appear foggy and fake. Becoming detached like this is terrifying. My brain is doing something incredibly strange I don’t understand and I’m stuck in my body, trying to make sense of it. During panic attacks, I need something to hold onto that I can rely on. The familiar is what I crave, but my mind makes seeing the familiar difficult.

During the year he struggled with derealization disorder, Logic said it was the worst of his life.

“I had made more money than I could ever have dreamed of, I bought this home that we’re in right now, I was happily married, and yet, I was unhappy,” he said.

We hope Logic continues speaking out about this lesser-known disorder. In the meantime, we’re thankful he put the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the spotlight.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.

Lead photo via Logic’s Facebook page