My New Year's Resolution: Not to Forget My Ovarian Cancer Experience


As 2017 is coming to a close, I have been reflecting on the past 12 months, like many others around me. Every year it seems as if social media is full of posts stating good intentions to begin and complete resolutions. Most of the time, a year later, posts show up that admit to forgetting about the resolution and new ones are made. I have been guilty of this many times — but not this upcoming year.

This might sound strange, backwards, and the opposite of what most others would want, but my New Year’s resolution is not to forget my ovarian cancer experience.

I wish I could forget the sights and sounds of the hospital.

I wish I could forget hearing the word cancer.

I wish I could forget the symptoms, misdiagnoses and invalidation that came with receiving this diagnosis.

I wish I don’t have to live with the fears, anxiety and emotional pain that came from this experience.

I wish I could forget everything that happened.

But I can’t, and I won’t — even if I had the chance.

Why? Why would I make not forgetting my New Years resolution? Because by not forgetting, I am saving my and other’s lives.

If I would to forget this experience, I could potentially forget everything that happened. And this may include some of the symptoms that gave me so much pain.

I need to remember doctors appointments.

I need to remember the cluster of symptoms so I can check them again if they happen to come back.

I must remember them so I can advocate for myself again. And not just myself. For others as well.

My experience this year can save my life if there is a next time — and it can help to save the lives of others.

In 2018 I will not forget what happened in 2017. But I will work on reducing fear, coping with anxiety, and being compassionate towards myself. Because by not forgetting, I am letting myself feel the emotional pain this year caused.

And this is not easy for me to do.

So, no resolutions on exercising every day, eating only healthy food, getting a job, etc. Those things will come naturally, and they will fall into place as life progresses. I don’t want to feel guilty if I miss a week of exercise, or eat a pizza for dinner. But I am making my resolution something that I know I will already be doing, and that is not forgetting.

Because my life depends on it.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Getty Images photo via TatianaDavidova


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Ovarian Cancer

Sad woman black and white closeup

The Pain of Losing Two of My Loved Ones to Ovarian Cancer

I am a granddaughter and a daughter of ovarian cancer victims. Yes, both my lola and my mom shared the same disease. A disease which has a high probability that I, too, may acquire. It was not easy to be the one who’s always left by loved ones. The loneliness is unbearable. It drowned the life [...]
Christina Applegate feature

Christina Applegate Had Her Ovaries and Fallopian Tubes Removed

In an exclusive interview with Today.com, Christina Applegate revealed she had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed in an effort to prevent ovarian cancer. She also discussed her previous breast cancer diagnosis and how it has affected the way she raises her daughter. “My cousin passed away from ovarian cancer in 2008. I could prevent [...]
comic of female mouth talking

I Had Ovarian Cancer, and This Is Why I Need to Talk About It

Since my ovarian cancer diagnosis, I have received many different responses from people who have heard my story. “Oh! I am so sorry you went through that.” “Are you OK?” “It’s so wonderful the surgeon removed it all.” “Let’s focus on the fact you are cancer-free.” “Mind over matter, right?” I completely understand people mean [...]
Propagation of Inner Thoughts

Why I'm Facing More Than One 'Fight' Because of Ovarian Cancer 

When I first heard the words, “You have cancer,” I was shocked. I could not wrap my mind around those words. I immediately thought I would need chemo, as an extra measure to make sure all of the cancer was gone after the surgery. It turns out my surgeon removed the entire cyst (and the tumor [...]