10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re a Workaholic With Anxiety
This piece was written by Lauren Jarvis-Gibson, a Thought Catalog contributor.
1. I have insomnia.
I find myself falling asleep at my own desk because I can never get enough sleep during the night. It takes me forever to get to sleep because I’m constantly replaying the work day over and over again.
2. I frequently have a couple of drinks after work to calm down.
As soon as I get home from work, I pour myself a glass of wine or pull out a can of beer. It is the only thing that soothes the nerves and tension that’s always about what I didn’t do perfectly that day.
3. I isolate myself from everyone.
I’ve stopped talking to friends, coworkers and family. I put every ounce of energy into work because I feel like it’s the only thing I’m good at it. The work makes life worth living.
4. I dread meetings with my boss.
Whenever my boss schedules a group meeting or a one-on-one talk, I become a bundle of nerves. I even make myself sick with worries of getting in trouble, or getting criticized. I do everything I can to avoid those meetings and even go as far as faking sick.
5. I’m constantly worried about being fired.
It’s all I can think about. Will that mistake cost me this job? What if they find out I forgot to send that email? Whenever I’m even a tiny bit critiqued, I brace myself for hearing the words, “I need to let you go.” It’s one of my greatest fears.
6. I say “yes” to everything.
I don’t know how to “no” to new responsibilities and challenges. Even if I tire myself out with all of the new projects, I think it’s better than saying no to my boss. In my head, work is more important than my mental health.
7. Even when I’ve done nothing wrong, I replay the day over and over again after I’m done with work.
I constantly and consistently replay the day over in my head. It makes me upset, because I can’t help it. My brain is wired this way and I can’t stop beating myself up about that one thing I said, or that one tiny little mistake.
8. I work on weekends.
I don’t know how to relax anymore or go out with friends. I convince myself I have to work on my days off in order to be the best. I work day and night even on holidays and weekends. I don’t know how to stop.
9. I hate going on vacation.
Vacation makes me more anxious than anything. I worry about what I’m missing. I worry about falling behind. I worry that someone will call me lazy or a fake. So, I’ve stopped going on vacations all together.
10. I cancel plans with others so I can make more room for work.
Even if it’s a date that I really want to go on, or a birthday party for my dearest friends, I choose work over them. That’s when I knew I had a problem.
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Getty image via Jacob Ammentorp Lund