The Comment That Triggered My Social Anxiety Insecurities

“Would you just shut up? Your voice is so annoying.”

One comment made by a friend. What they didn’t realize was the lasting affect that would have on someone like me.

I suffer from social anxiety. This causes me to constantly think about all the things people say about me and what I have said to them. I stress over if a person actually likes me or if they are lying about it just to be nice. I could have known this person for years but somehow I can convince myself they hate me.

This comment made me insecure about my voice and my personality. Because of this comment, I stopped talking to people unless they spoke first, because of this comment, I hid from people so I wouldn’t have to speak. I believed them. I believed my voice was annoying and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It wasn’t until my boyfriend asked me why I didn’t speak much when I realized this had become a problem for me. I opened up to him about it and he said my voice wasn’t annoying and I shouldn’t listen to what other people said about me (which is a lot easier said than done).

I realized that even if my voice was annoying, I couldn’t communicate with people without it. I couldn’t hide behind a screen forever and I had to talk to people if I wanted to have any kind of relationship or friendship.

Sometimes I still get insecure about my voice and if I’m annoying the people I’m around. Slowly I’m learning not to worry so much what other people say. I’ve learned that because of my social anxiety disorder, the things people say can often hurt me when they never intended it to be that way. I’ve learned that my social anxiety shouldn’t hold me back anymore and I want to live my life instead of hiding.

My voice might still be an insecurity I have, but I can’t change it and I’m learning to live with that.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Getty Images photo via Archv

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Social Anxiety

young woman smiling and running hand back through hair

Why You Don't Have to Be Quiet to Have Social Anxiety

“Oh, you can’t have social anxiety; you talk too much and you’re confident.” This is something I have been told quite a lot. Apparently, I am not allowed to speak up and have a voice because I’m socially anxious. I should just be sitting at home, locked away in my room, right? Wrong. Not everyone [...]
young woman alone at beach party drinking beer

The One Thing You Should Never Call Someone With Social Anxiety

Dear friend whom I go to parties with, I am actually a very talkative person. Once I get on the topic of something I love, it’s hard to shut me up. Sometimes, you might say, I talk too much. But I have social anxiety. When I meet new people or I am put into a situation [...]

Social Anxiety: How I Stopped Worrying About Others Staring at Me

In the past, my social anxiety used to be really bad, due to several years of having been cyberbullied. I would go to the mall or a store and think people were staring at me or talking negatively about me. I used to sometimes think some people were just so rude that they could not [...]
Young woman in the bus

5 Little Tricks That Help Me Get Past Everyday Social Anxieties

Faking out my ever-present anxiety is a talent I’ve honed since graduating college and entering the “real adult” workforce. I’ve dealt with social anxiety for much of my life and it’s been my biggest obstacle. As a kid I was painfully shy, in high school the stress of unfamiliar social situations outside my tight-knit group [...]