A Letter to My Unborn Child: What You Should Know About My Stutter

Dear son or daughter,

First off, I can’t wait to meet you! I already love you immensely and unconditionally.

A fact you need to know about me: I stutter.

What that means is it may take me a few extra seconds to say something. I may make some noises before I talk or my mouth might be open, but no noise comes out. When I stutter, I may or may not make eye contact with you. I’ll make weird facial expressions when I stutter. Despite that, there is nothing wrong with stuttering.

I am not a bad or evil person because I stutter, nor am I lying. When I stutter it’s not because I’m nervous, excited or anxiety-ridden. I tell you this because you may hear these things about stuttering and what causes stuttering. I want to tell you that all of those are wrong. Stuttering is just something that happens when I talk. There is nothing wrong with stuttering. My stutter has taught me numerous lessons and given me opportunities I could never have imagined.

With that said, I hope you do not have to deal with stuttering. I say this not because it would affect how I love you or how much I love you because it won’t, but out of love for you, I don’t want you to go through what I went through. I don’t want you to be filled with self-doubt every time you talk. I don’t want you to be afraid of or avoid speaking out in class, talking on the phone and ordering your meal at a restaurant. I don’t want you to be constantly thinking about what the person on the other side is thinking about you and your stutter. I don’t want you to be picked on in school because of your stutter. I don’t want people to think you are unintelligent, lying or a bad person because you stutter. I don’t want you to experience the insecurities I went through.

But if you do stutter, great! You have someone I didn’t have in my life: someone close to you who gets what it means to stutter and all of the mental and emotional “stuff” that comes with it. In me, you have someone who can help and guide you through all of the stuff stuttering can bring into a person’s life. There are a few things I need to tell you about your stutter. The first is: you can control it, it doesn’t have to control you. Secondly, you dictate your future, your stutter does not. Finally: you always were, always are, and always will be so much more than your stutter.

Regardless of if you stutter or not, I will always be behind you win or lose, fluent or not, on good days and bad. I will be your advocate, cheerleader, encourager, and whatever else you need. I can’t wait to meet you and see the world through your eyes.

Love always,


We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Getty image by tamaravidmar

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Stuttering

Man standing on a ledge of a mountain, enjoying the sunset over a river valley in Thorsmork, Iceland.

Learning to Love Myself as a Person Who Stutters

“I hate you!” “You’re such a weirdo.” “Why can’t you be like everyone else?” “You’re slow… were you left behind when brains were given out?” “Clearly a mistake was made you were born.” I can’t even begin to describe the onslaught of insults I heard growing up. No matter how old you get, some scars [...]
letter H in red

A Letter to the Letter 'H,' the Sound I Struggle to Say

Dear H, As you know, I stutter, and you are one of the sounds I stutter on the most but one I always seem to need. What an ironic twist, right? You probably think it’s funny.  My last name is Hayden. One greets another person, either on the phone or face to face, with some [...]
Sketch of a casually dressed man.

To My Stutter, the Friend I Don't Want but Can't See My Life Without

Dear Stutter, For most of my life, you’ve been the friend I don’t want, but couldn’t see my life without. The majority of our friendship has been filled with anxiety, nervousness, hate, self-doubt, and insecurity; however, those negatives have since turned into beauty, acceptance, and ultimately self-confidence. When we first became friends I was 5. [...]
Audience applauding during meeting

The First Time I Met Other People Who Stutter

Last month, I went to my very first NSA (National Stuttering Association) chapter meeting. I had been dreaming about going to one for years, so when the day finally came, I was absolutely thrilled. I had never met anyone else who stuttered. I always knew there were thousands of people out there walking this same [...]