With Grief, There Is No Short Cut


Sadly there are no short cuts. Back then, I looked forward to the day’s end in the hopes I would get through despite.

Prayers kept me afloat yet hanging.

My mind was empty with no thoughts and my body limp and cold.

It was very difficult. I was angry and hurt when people asked me to move on and to stop moping. They do not realize there is no such thing as moving on and that we are not in control of our grief and mourning. I hated people telling me to move on and occupy myself with things that would pass the time away.

But grief lives and dwells within and will not go away. It doesn’t choose whether one is weak or strong. There are no options to decide on. It lingers on and on and settles in to the innermost being of one who has suffered a great loss. One has to go through it.

It changes people. I know I changed.

Only time heals the brokenness of the mind, body, heart and soul. We never move on; instead we learn to live with the new person we are to be. The new me.

I took it from my aunt who lost her husband a year before my dear Atomic passed. She held my hand and told me, “I know how you feel, but I promise you it does get better.”

Tutoo nga and sinabi niya. So hang in there.

You will smile and even laugh again. But you will continue to cry at times all because we loved and love still.

Missing Atomic with every single beat of my heart

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Getty image via eyecrave


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Grief

Healing My Soul After My Grandchild's Death

“Whenever we suffer a physical or emotional trauma, it is said that a part of our soul flees the body in order to survive the experience. With every cut and wound, our essence and vitality grows weaker. This process is called soul loss.” It is no wonder I have struggled to feel complete since the loss [...]
the cranberries

To the Kids of Dolores O'Riordan, Following Your Mum's Death

You don’t know me. But I’ve been where you are now. I was 18 when I lost my mum. It was three days before my brother’s 11th birthday. Right now, I’m pretty sure you’re feeling a number of emotions you may not be able to explain. You’re probably confused and angry. This may go on [...]
scene from coco

Watching 'Coco' While Dealing With Grief

I blog mostly about how Disney quotes, characters and films have helped me sort through my caregiving experience and also through grief. I saw new Disney movie “Coco,” which won the Golden Globe this year for Best Animated Film. It opened Thanksgiving weekend 2017. “Coco” highlights the Day of the Dead, which is a favorite unit [...]
Sad woman in pain hiding her face

15 Tips for Dealing With Grief, By a Mental Health Professional

I am 35 years old and write from experience. Many people assume a young person can’t possibly have life experience at this age. Let me tell you a little about what I’ve been through as a result of my own struggles with mental illness: People do die as a direct or in-direct result of mental [...]