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With Grief, There Is No Short Cut

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Sadly there are no short cuts. Back then, I looked forward to the day’s end in the hopes I would get through despite.

Prayers kept me afloat yet hanging.

My mind was empty with no thoughts and my body limp and cold.

It was very difficult. I was angry and hurt when people asked me to move on and to stop moping. They do not realize there is no such thing as moving on and that we are not in control of our grief and mourning. I hated people telling me to move on and occupy myself with things that would pass the time away.

But grief lives and dwells within and will not go away. It doesn’t choose whether one is weak or strong. There are no options to decide on. It lingers on and on and settles in to the innermost being of one who has suffered a great loss. One has to go through it.

It changes people. I know I changed.

Only time heals the brokenness of the mind, body, heart and soul. We never move on; instead we learn to live with the new person we are to be. The new me.

I took it from my aunt who lost her husband a year before my dear Atomic passed. She held my hand and told me, “I know how you feel, but I promise you it does get better.”

Tutoo nga and sinabi niya. So hang in there.

You will smile and even laugh again. But you will continue to cry at times all because we loved and love still.

Missing Atomic with every single beat of my heart

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Getty image via eyecrave

Originally published: February 14, 2018
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