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How Lady Gaga's Canceled Tour Gave Me a Much-Needed Reality Check

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When I was given a list of possible diagnoses one of the first things I did was get on Google and find out what all these strange words meant. I later discovered that doing so was a huge mistake, as when you Google things like fibromyalgia and anti-coagulant lupus you just get page after page of doom and gloom. Fortunately, my lupus screen came back negative, but fibromyalgia is still on my list of diagnoses and as a 17-year-old college student, this completely changed my view on life. My hopes and dreams were put on hold and I had no idea what my future held. I went from exercising religiously to lying in bed unable to move and I saw no chance of a future and no point in trying to make a life for myself.

That was until I watched Lady Gaga’s documentary “Five Foot Two.” It made me realize that life with chronic pain may suck but it doesn’t have to hold you back. My mindset quickly shifted to “if Lady Gaga can tour the world and dance on stage with fibromyalgia, then I can get through college.” While this may not sound like a life-changing resolution, as a teen with chronic pain, it gave me hope and I knew my life didn’t have to be spent in bed.

As a child I was mildly obsessed with Lady Gaga; however, that obsession faded as I grew – at least it did for a few years. I can safely say that Lady Gaga is back in my life and when I heard she was coming to the UK I knew I had to see her in person! I gathered my Christmas and birthday money and I forked out enough for two tickets. My seats were right by the stage – I couldn’t believe my luck! That was until the tour got rescheduled and yeah, I was gutted, but hey – I still have tickets for January! At least I did anyway.

Yesterday I went on my Instagram and saw that the remainder of the tour had been canceled and I was devastated, I didn’t know what to think. My mind shifted from self-pity to annoyance and finally to how much pain Gaga must be in to have canceled it. I thought back to my worst flare-ups and remembered how I could barely move, and here people are expecting Gaga to sing, dance and put on a smile. I know it sounds silly, but Lady Gaga being unable to perform was a much-needed reality check.

You see, I was forcing myself out of bed and into college when I just wanted to curl up into a ball and scream from pain constantly, reminding myself of how Lady Gaga was putting on a smile and going about her day. Lady Gaga canceling her tour made me realize it’s OK to take a break and at the end of the day we need to listen to our bodies because in the long run, pushing ourselves to the limit is only going to make us feel worse.

I really hope Lady Gaga feels better soon and that she can return to the UK at some point in the future, but at the end of the day I’ll understand if she can’t and I really hope she gets the best care out there. I love you, Gaga – your music has saved my life and I will always be one of your little monsters.

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Lead photo courtesy of Lady Gaga’s Facebook page

Originally published: February 7, 2018
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