How Taking Things One Day at a Time Helps Me Cope With Uncertainty About My Health

Last night I sat on my bed exhausted. I was in pain and plain tired from working. I am currently a university senior and my work study is a Community Advisor or Resident Assistant, depending which term you are familiar with using. At my university, the CAs have to be on duty for two weekends in the semester and it was my weekend. Well, half a weekend. I was making up for the weekend before because I had fainted before my second shift and was unable to work.

As I sat on my bed, not only did I feel beat from going all over campus and hosting activities, I felt scared and overwhelmed. Today, as I am writing this, I am curious to see if I will faint again. I have had close calls all week and it is overwhelming. I thought my health was becoming more stable and then it throws a curveball at me. “Nope, you still have a lot of issues to deal with,” it tells me.

I laid in my bed thinking about my next appointment and what it could mean. Over Christmas, my doctor diagnosed me with some kind of headache disorder (currently keeping a headache diary so we can figure out which disorder I have) and a low blood pressure disorder, but she never told me which one. I was told to stay hydrated and eat more salt, which I am doing, but my blood pressure is still consistently low and I still get episodes of feeling like I am going to faint except I am able to catch myself. Last weekend though, I couldn’t catch myself and I was left weak and exhausted for quite a few days afterward. It scared me and has me quite concerned. I felt defeated and like I was going backward instead of forward. I essentially fell asleep worried and overwhelmed.

Today, as I am thinking about last night, a little mantra keeps coming back to me: “take it one day at a time.” My mother told me this as she dropped me off at my university for the first time and my advisor told me the same mantra after my mother passed away and when I received my first diagnosis of fibromyalgia. It is a mantra I live by and is certainly one that is providing me comfort today as I am exhausted from pushing my body last night. I only have so much control over my body and fear will only make it worse. I am still being cautious about how I go about my day today, but eventually, my fear will subside and if I faint again then hopefully it is one step closer to figuring out what is wrong with me.

Thank you for reading and being a part of my story. Even if you don’t think you need this mantra, take it one day at a time.

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