How I'm Rising From the Depths of PTSD
From shattered oblivion, I crawled back from the depths of despair. Never knowing and always terrified that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) would be my demise.
It’s bullying way of hurling me from the present to the past often left me winded and frightened. The triggers sometimes still happen. I’m often winded, but now I understand the fear. I’m able to patiently and uncomfortably wait it out. Knowing that this too will pass. Symptoms are time-limited.
The loneliness on the healing journey of remembering, processing and feeling has been eased by forcing myself to sit with the truth. That truth brings acceptance. It’s not an easy truth, but it’s mine. My life, my past. I understand what happened and the effects of the trauma.
Most days, the grief for a life interrupted is replaced by the solace of knowing the who, what, when and how. For me, it feels better to have a congruent timeline. To no longer live under a “cover story” because of threats and fear.
Still practicing the independence of using all my tools to cope day to day. Sometimes feeling like a stranger with no purpose other than to heal. But then remembering that my purpose through this healing process was to live, so I can live, not just survive.
From shattered oblivion, I broke free from the choke hold of silence. My open traumatic, psychological wounds are scarred over and I’m standing on firmer ground. Triumphant firmer ground!
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