themighty logo

Why We Shouldn't Judge People for the Size They Wear


Let me tell you a little story.

This photo was taken at my sweet sister-in-law’s wedding reception. I enjoyed the night for the most part, meeting all of the people who came to support Madi and Taylor, and dancing with my adorable niece.

But I was also keenly ware of my body and how I looked. When my mother-in-law asked us all what size of dress we needed as bridesmaids, I replied “extra large” after the other ladies said “small.” I tried to not let that bother me much, but I’m human so it stung a little. My mother-in-law handled it graciously, treating the moment like that what I said was no different from the others.

A photo of the writer dancing with a man and a child at a wedding.

Still, on this night, I felt defeated. My darling, young niece patted my stomach and told me throughout the night, “you look pregnant!” I’m not. But I understood. She’s young and I am what a person tends to look like pregnant. Still, this bothered me.

Sometimes I wish I could put a sign on my forehead that says “I’m sick” so that people didn’t automatically judge me for my size. People tend to have sympathy and are less harsh when they know you have an illness which causes this.

Still, this is the way I look every day, and that won’t change overnight. So yes, I have an illness, and yes, it makes affects my weight. One of those things you see, one you can’t. So give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t judge so harshly. People can be fighting all sorts of unseen and invisible battles and illnesses. It’s our job to look past our preconceived notions about how things should look and see the real person inside.