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I Was Depressed and Suicidal Two Weeks After I Got Married

I had two weeks of wedded bliss before my depression relapsed. At a time when people expect to be happy and care-free, I was feeling hopeless and contemplating suicide. There was no reason for those thoughts, they just were. My new husband, who had been through this with me before, was taken aback that the depression came so quickly. It was soon apparent that this happy future we had planned was off to a rocky start. Instead of watching our marriage implode, I started these steps:

1. I was fully honest about my symptoms. 

I used to try to hide or minimize the depression. I learned it doesn’t protect anyone and ends up making it harder to heal.

2. I explored my fears. 

I used to believe the depression would not let me have a typical life, including getting married and having a family. Once I was officially married, I was afraid that I trapped my husband with me and my disorder.

3. Begin couples therapy. 

Even though I was the one who was depressed, my husband had his own feelings — including anger and frustration. We needed help with communicating our feelings in a healthy way.

Though married life did not start as I imagined, I have hope that we can get through this as we have before. We just need some help remembering how we fell in love in the first place.

Unsplash photo via Brooke Cagle