10 Things People With Mental Illness Are Tired of Being Told
If you live with a mental illness, you might be familiar with some of the hurtful things people often say to those struggling with it. Comments like:
You just need to focus on the positive.
Have you tried meditating?
You need to remember other people are much worse off than you.
Though most of these hurtful comments actually come from good intentions, they can simplify and invalidate the complexities of living with mental illness.
Mental health advocate Hattie Gladwell knows how harmful these comments and others can be for folks struggling with mental illness. To raise mental health awareness and support people with mental illness, Gladwell created the hashtag, #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness on Twitter. The hashtag has been trending for the past few days.
Quote this tweet with one thing you wish people wouldn’t say to those who have mental illness.
I’ll start: ‘Other people have it worse’.
Please don’t invalidate my illness just because you don’t understand it.#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
— hattie gladwell (@hatttiegladwell) April 16, 2018
The Mighty reached out to Gladwell to share what she hoped the impact of the hashtag would be.
I created the hashtag to create a conversation about mental health that I feel is much needed. I feel that people struggling with mental illness can often feel isolated and like they can’t speak out or feel comfortable because so many people don’t understand it, and therefore may make really unhelpful or judgmental comments. People with mental illness can’t “get over it.” They can’t just “cheer up.” People need to realize mental illness is every bit as debilitating as physical [illness]. We wouldn’t say “just don’t think about it” to a broken leg, so why is it OK when it comes to mental illness? With this hashtag, I hope it acts as a voice for those struggling, as well as is educational for those who really don’t know what to say.
Check out some of the responses to #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness below:
1.
“You don’t look ill”#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/kgf9JyuaRZ
— Megz Jones (@megzjones) April 17, 2018
2.
“The weather is SO bipolar right now!” – my chronic mental illness is not an adjective for you to describe the weather. #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
— Cas Imossi (@mummynevasleeps) April 16, 2018
3.
"What do you mean you're depressed? Everyone goes through tough times, no need to make a big deal out of it"#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
— A & D (@ThaboRafapa) April 17, 2018
4.
"Have you tried ….?" <insert unsolicited advice here> Examples include: exercise, gluten free diet, supplements, just NOT worrying? #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/tPskRqODbs
— Jeneral Awesome (@JenisawesomeUK) April 17, 2018
5.
'Think positive'
I know this phrase is probably well meaning, but it's annoying as I wish it was that simple! ????#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/EycBocDAPS— Immie (@icerowe) April 16, 2018
6.
I wish people wouldn't say "you're overreacting"#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/i3DG7d1pbw
— MeandMyMHMatters (@Meandmymhmatter) April 16, 2018
7.
‘Just don’t think about it’.
Oh, wow, didn’t even think of that! Thanks. #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/WViNnzL4hx
— hattie gladwell (@hatttiegladwell) April 17, 2018
8.
“But if you hear voices then why can’t you just ignore them??” #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/D7Bym7tIyV
— Four Hands McGee (@MancuerdaAbsol) April 18, 2018
9.
"you need to stop wallowing" #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/vbQ1Tk86zV
— Xena-worrier-Princess (@xenatheworrier) April 17, 2018
10.
But your so skinny, why are you worried about your weight? #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
— Sara Hornsey (@sjh1980) April 16, 2018
While it’s important to talk about what not to say to someone with mental illness, the conversation doesn’t have to stop there. If you’re wondering what you should say to someone struggling with mental illness, we’ve linked some helpful posts below that may give you some good ideas of where to start.
6 Things You Should Say to Someone Who Has Depression
What Not to Say When Anxiety Attacks (and What to Say Instead)
What Not to Say to a Person With Bipolar Disorder (and What You Should)
5 Things Not to Say to Someone Who’s Suicidal — and What to Say Instead