To Anyone Who Thinks Anxiety Makes You Difficult to Love
This piece was written by Holly Riordan, a Thought Catalog contributor
Your anxiety might stop you from admitting your feelings for someone. It might stop you from sending text messages and initiating conversations. It might convince you to turn down dates out of nervousness. It might convince you that you are better off hiding inside of your bedroom than going out and putting your heart on the line.
Your anxiety might make you feel like you are unlovable. It might make you wonder whether there is anyone out there who would ever want you. It might make you assume you are going to stay single forever.
Your anxiety might make it hard for you to accept that someone else loves you — but it does not actually make you difficult to love.
When you find your forever person, they will not consider you a burden when you decide you want to leave a party early. They will not say you’re being overdramatic when you freak out over an upcoming event. They will not accuse you of being annoying when you ask them for confirmation that they still have feelings for you.
When you find your forever person, they will not think of your anxiety as something they are stuck dealing with — as something they wish they could avoid. They will accept your anxiety because it is part of you. They will accept your anxiety because they love all of you.
When you find your forever person, they will hold you close when you need their reassurance and give you distance when you need some space. They won’t judge you when your hands or your voice gets shaky. They won’t wish you were more “normal.” They won’t be mad at you for being who you are.
You cannot let your anxiety lie to you about your worth. You cannot let it convince you that your person is going to leave you behind. You cannot let it trick you into believing your person deserves better and it’s only a matter of time until they realize it. You cannot let your anxiety ruin your relationships, because you deserve to be loved.
Your anxiety might convince you that you are a bad conversationalist. A bad girlfriend. A bad boyfriend. A bad friend. Your anxiety might make you think you are never going to find love. That you are destined to end up alone. That no one is ever going to want to put up with the baggage you’ve been carrying.
But that is far from the truth. Your anxiety does not make you difficult to love. Your anxiety makes you stronger, because you have to leave your comfort zone every single day and face your fears. Your anxiety makes you love harder, because you know what it feels like to be alone and never take kindness for granted. Your anxiety makes you a better person to be around, because you try your hardest in relationships so that you don’t lose the people you care the most about.
You deserve love as much as anybody else does — and one day, you are going to find it.
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Unsplash photo via Stephany Lorena