If sleeping was a sport, I would be Olympic standard. It has a lot to do with chronic fatigue syndrome, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’ve always loved sleep. I have tried everything over the years to become a morning person and only succeeded in solidifying my status as a really grumpy (and often dangerous around hot drinks), non-morning person. I have done so much self-development and learning, and yet one thing remains unchanged over all this time – despite all this new life-changing knowledge – and that is my relationship with sleep. This is how my journal looks when I write about this:
If you could do anything in the world right now, what would you do?
Sleep.
I mean, anything, nothing off-limits no rules?
Yeah, I’d sleep thanks.
Can you imagine a situation in which you felt fulfilled, motivated and energized to want more than sleep?
No. I’d still want more sleep.
What makes you happy?
Sleep
What do you want more of in life?
Sleep
You know what? I used to beat myself up about this so badly. I used to feel like there was something so wrong with me, that I had failed in my development as a decent member of society because our society praises people who sleep less and do more. Our society makes us think that the only goals worth aiming for are about doing stuff. When I first started setting new goals for myself I found that it is also so easy to want someone else’s dreams, probably because they seem more acceptable than our own. You find yourself saying that you want things that deep down you know you don’t or that just aren’t “you.” I found myself setting goals about being full of energy, or subconsciously setting goals for things that required me to have lots of energy, and then felt deflated when they didn’t come to pass.
When I failed at those things I told myself it was my illness, that I wasn’t motivated enough, but the truth was I didn’t really want it or believe in it. I didn’t want the buzzing, bouncing, energized, busy life I said I wanted. I’d had that before, it’s probably what led to me burning-out in the first place! There is nothing wrong with wanting something different or new for your life, just make sure it’s what you really want and not what you think you should want.
So what if your dream isn’t about having all the things and going all the places?
What if your dream is about peace, contentment, stillness, rest?
What if this journey you’ve been on has made you stop clambering for the external things to make you whole because you now realise the importance of going inside yourself for answers and completeness?
You are allowed to want a life and a work-life that feels relaxing and natural and not at odds with the way you want to live your life. If you’re goal is to live a life of tranquillity, rest and to strive for peace above thrills, I am 100 percent behind you. This is your party and you can sleep if you want to!
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Getty Image by millann
Warrior wife, step-mum, cat-mum and mum-to-be. Writer, Poet, Business Owner. Bizarre sandwich combination level: Expert.
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