When Depression Keeps You From Doing the Things You Want (and Need) to Do
“Executive dysfunction” is like being trapped in your own body.
You want to do things. You know you want to do things. You are actively thinking “I want to do this thing” or “I should do this thing,” but you sit there and can’t bring yourself to really do the things you want to do.
Like take a shower.
Or turn on a show on Netflix.
Or go to the gym.
Or even reach over and drink the bottle of water that sits on your nightstand.
You know you want to do these things, you know you could easily do them, but no matter how much your brain tries to convince you to do these things, your body still won’t budge.
In my personal experience, executive dysfunction is directly linked to depression. My ability to force myself to do things plummets when depression takes over.
Yes, I want to get up. Yes, I want to take a shower. Yes, I want to watch the many shows that are sitting in my Netflix queue.
However, the most I can do is move my fingers to type this post and try my hardest not to let my eyes shut for an involuntary nap. I can’t even be bothered to lift my arms, no matter how much I want that water bottle sitting only two feet away.
Will this pass? Yes, eventually. Until it does, however, I sit on my bed, trapped in my own body that is too tired to do any of the things my brain is screaming at me to do.
Unsplash photo via Annie Spratt