When My Fellow Christians Tell Me, 'God Wants to Heal You'


I am a Christian myself and I believe in the power of the almighty God. But when a Christian tells me, “God wants to heal you,” I am confused. Because if God wanted to heal me, he could, right? He is God. So obviously, he doesn’t wish for that right now.

There were times when I was prayed over for healing, over and over again throughout the years to no avail. I was told that I didn’t have enough faith and that if I just mustered up enough faith to believe that God would heal me, he would.

I believe God empathizes with my pain and doesn’t enjoy seeing me suffer, but He knows what is best and knows all the ways my illness has made me more whole and has helped me learn about the good and beautiful in ways that I couldn’t if I wasn’t sick.

Saying that God wants to heal me tells me that God doesn’t value my illness. Always focusing on healing can make those with chronic illness feel that we aren’t good enough just the way we are, abilities and disabilities in all. Because of this, at times I have believed that I am not good enough with my illness. But I am enough and God believes that.

I see my struggle with pain as a grace that God has given me. I once had a professor who I opened up to about my illnesses. She quickly responded, “Wow. God must have one heck of a story out there for you.” She believed that because of my illness, I was given a special opportunity to see the world from a new perspective and that I would do powerful and important things because of my suffering.

It has taken time, but I believe her. I am more than my illness, but also my illness is a very important part of me — one that has shaped me and molded me into the person that I am. So please don’t discredit my life and my illness, because I am better for it. I believe the all-powerful-God doesn’t want to heal me and is choosing to allow this in my life. And although 10 percent of the time I am screaming at him for it, unable to understand why he could allow me to live with this pain, the other 90 percent of the time I get it — because I can’t imagine my life without my illness and without all that I have learned about myself and others from it.

Getty photo by Maria Kuznetsova


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Fibromyalgia

Watercolor painting of girl pray to star for peaceful and hope in the dark night

The Struggle to Find Purpose While Living With Fibromyalgia

Anyone who has fibromyalgia or a chronic illness of any kind knows that it takes a toll on your life. Fibromyalgia snuck up on me six years ago and slowly turned my life upside-down. First I had to take it easy and not do so much in one day. Then my social life decreased. Eventually, [...]
A picture of a sad woman looking outside a window.

Chronic Illness Isn't a Reason to Feel Guilty

Let’s take a moment and talk about guilt. Specifically, the guilt of being chronically ill. My guess is, if you struggle with chronic illness, you know exactly the type of guilt I am talking about. Maybe it started well before you were sick enough to have a diagnosis, maybe even before realizing you needed to [...]
A photo of a male doctor's hand shaking another man's hand.

How a Doctor and I Had to Overcome Our Prejudices When It Came to My Fibromyalgia

I have had a lot of people ask me about when I am getting a new doctor. I have talked about how my last doctor retired and the one before that gave up on me as a patient. I have been through a terrible run of doctors in my life and they are usually not [...]
woman standing outside on her porch drinking coffee surrounded by trees

What Fibromyalgia Has Given Me

Fibromyalgia has given me a lot. You may think someone who struggles with this painful condition would be more likely to write about what fibromyalgia has taken. It has certainly taken a lot: it has taken my ability to perform even the smallest household duties and some days my ability to perform self-care tasks. It [...]