The Dance of Lyme Disease
Lyme is a dance.
It’s a dance between wanting to be alone and wanting to talk to somebody about how you feel. Between wanting to be positive and wanting to be real. Between feeling isolated and feeling connected. Between feeling hope and feeling frustration. Between feeling as if you are going to die and knowing you are going to get better. Between thinking about the future and accepting where you are.
It’s your mind telling you won’t ever get better, while your heart is laughing in its face.
It’s a step forward and a step back. It’s a push and pull, to and fro, surprise twist and turn. It is stillness and sudden movement. It’s a dip and then a standing ovation.
There are times the fatigue, the pain, the fear, the worry, overtake you. You feel hopeless, angry, bitter.
There are times when you can look back and realize how far you’ve come. How strong you are. How you persevere through the toughest of obstacles.
And through it all, we must remember: It’s OK to be mad. It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to feel hopeless. It’s OK to worry. It’s OK to be anxious. It’s OK to be fearful. It’s OK to be bitter. It’s OK to be resentful. It’s OK to feel embarrassed. It’s OK to feel shame. It’s OK to feel guilt.
Just as it’s OK to enjoy life. It’s OK to feel joy. It’s OK to feel happiness. It’s OK to laugh. It’s OK to feel gratitude. It’s OK to feel love.
It’s OK to have a hodgepodge of all these emotions. It’s OK to feel some at the same time. It’s OK to feel all at the same time. It’s OK to feel. It’s OK.
There’s no black and white. It all becomes gray.
And we keep dancing our way to health.
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