Finding Personal Strength and Triumph as an Abuse Survivor With Autism

I remember how awkward I appeared to be compared to my other siblings. My behavior starting at 6 months old was repetitive and restricted. Every day I would hide from everyone and not play with my siblings. Doors as they opened and closed were fascinating to me. I would stack my rectangular toys in a specific order as high as possible. When my mother or siblings touched or found me somewhere in the house, I would have a meltdown. I would suck my ring finger all day as it provided a sense of comfort.

Early in my life, I could not understand social interaction (and tried to avoid it), nonverbal communication and never maintained eye contact. My mother did not fully understand what was going with me and relied on doctors and professionals to deal with my issues. I was born with a tongue-tie, an abnormally thick line that connected my tongue to the bottom of my mouth. Because of this issue, I had trouble keeping food down, which caused me to become sick. After years of pain, I had tongue clip surgery at the age of 3. Later I was diagnosed with a severe speech impediment, intellectual disability and autism.

Going to school was a nightmare. I was always bullied until I graduated from high school. The bullying consisted of teasing, physical and verbal attacks from students, some relatives and teachers. I was placed in special education because my mental condition was considered too severe for a general class setting. My first grade teacher always reminded me in front of the whole class how “stupid” and “useless” I was. She’d yell at me and say such horrible things.

“Maverick, since you have autism, you will never amount to anything or graduate from high school, and will be institutionalized.”

Classmates would automatically accuse me of doing anything wrong and my teacher would punish me. The punishment consisted of yelling, grabbing my ears and pulling me to her desk or the office.

My positive mentor turned into a physical abuser. At age 16, I was sent to live with a half-brother on my father’s side. He was given temporary custody of me and promised me a better life. After a few years of being a positive mentor to me and an effective male influence, my autism and difficulties lead to his punishment and abuse.
I was beaten with a blunt object in close range, and he would punch me in my face, a violent blow that sent me to the ground. Every time I received a beating, I struggled to breathe, my body twitched, I lost consciousness and fell to the floor. My whole life would pass through like a movie, my eyes would close, and I thought I was dead. Then I’d wake up lying on the floor.

He came into my class and shamed me in public in front of my peers and teachers about how pathetic I was. At age 19, I decided to leave and he became upset. I was beaten severely and thrown out of the hotel on my head. He yelled at me and said, “You’re worthless, I don’t care what happens to you; you can be dead for all I care.”

I planned to kill myself. I had a few unsuccessful attempts at suicide after I left him. I felt there was no purpose for me to live. All I had was a white shirt and blue shorts and slept outside in the cold weather with nothing but a mat and a bath towel to keep me warm.

Eventually I found the support I needed to triumph. Before Haven for Hope, I slept on bus stops, hid in small areas in the central library downtown, slept in the grass, on the ground or in remote locations so I would not be bothered by anyone. I would wake up with pink eye, ear infections and other problems due to sleeping outside. Going to school was a challenge — I had to carry my belongings everywhere I went because there were no lockers.

After everything I went through, I still managed to get my education. I finished and graduated from St. Philips College with an associate’s degree and 3.7 GPA. My college teachers and staff provided me comfort and support through my journey as a person with autism and abuse survivor.

Now I’m a senior at the University of Texas at San Antonio with a 3.5 GPA expecting to graduate in May of 2018 with a Bachelors of Arts in Criminal Justice, Public Administration and a minor in Civic Engagement.

Autism has been my number one component to my success in school. I remain humble in spirit and stick to my primary objective of trying my best daily by taking small steps. I want to help, support and inspire others on the autism spectrum to not give up or lose hope no matter what they are going through.

Keep pushing, keep striving, keep persevering to the end and there will be a greater reward. Always be proud of your autism because you are unique and special in your way, no matter what any doctor, parent, students, siblings or anybody tells you.