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To My Husband, From Your Wife With Schizophrenia

I see you trying your best to juggle life as well as help me deal with my illness. I see how you try to hide how much my illness breaks your heart, and I see how incredibly understanding you are. I know this isn’t easy and that we didn’t know how rough it could be at times. Despite how it may seem when those rough patches come about, I love you so much more than you know. I hope you see that, and continue to see through the illness that I have and that doesn’t have me.

I have never stopped seeing the love you have for me and how you continue to fight for the parts of me schizophrenia tries to take away. I want you to know that I try my hardest to be the best wife and mother I can be. I want you to know how hard it is to do either of those things. On the outside I appear “lazy” and generally tired to those around me… but part of you knows better.

You know how much I fight to get out of bed each day, go to the grocery store or change a diaper. You know that each day my mind is having a battle within itself. You try to understand. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know and I love you beyond measure.

It’s because of you that I’ll never stop fighting this monster. It’s because of you that I don’t have to fear myself or my illness. Thank you for just being there for me, for us.

Getty image via BlackbourneA