Woman With Cancer Writes Her Own Obituary Sharing Sweet Message for Loved Ones

Before her death, 35-year-old Bailey Matheson opted to take on a task that’s usually accomplished by a family member or friend: She decided to write her own obituary.

Her obituary, published after she died of cancer on April 5, is going viral for its sweet message of thanks to her parents, friends and boyfriend, and for her encouragement to readers: “Don’t take the small stuff so seriously and live a little.”

After beginning her obituary with the declaration, “35 years may not seem long, but damn it was good!” Matheson expressed gratitude for her parents, who supported her decision to not go through with chemotherapy and live the rest of her life the way she wanted.

“I know how hard that must have been watching me stop treatment and letting nature take its course. I love you both even more for this,” she wrote.

She also thanked her friends, who she cherished especially because she is an only child.

“I never thought I could love my friends more than I did,” she wrote, “but going through this and having your unconditional love and support you have made something that is normally so hard, more bearable and peaceful.”

She explained that her boyfriend, Brent had come into her life just three months before her diagnosis and remained through “all the adventures, appointments, laughs, cries and breakdowns.”

“You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you swiped right that day,” she wrote, referencing the fact that they met on a dating app.

Matheson concluded her obituary by thanking her family and medical care team and for all the “support, donations, fundraisers, food, messages and calls over the past two years.”

“It means the world to me,” she wrote.

Matheson, who lived in Nova Scotia, was diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma, a rare cancer of the smooth muscle tissue, in 2016. Radiation didn’t work and surgery was believed to be too risky. Doctors didn’t believe chemotherapy would save her life, so Matheson chose to avoid the side effects and stop treatment. She spent the rest of her life traveling the world and doing what she wanted to do, her friends and boyfriend told TODAY.

Matheson’s friend Julie Carrigan explained what her intentions were with her obituary.

“She said, ‘I don’t want it to sound like a normal, boring obituary. I want it to be a message to everybody I loved,’” Carrigan said.

While it isn’t exactly common for people to write their own obituaries, some have used the opportunity to leave a final message for their loved ones. Ellen Maud Bennett’s obituary garnered attention last summer for including a “final message” about the fat-shaming she endured from medical professionals and her wish that women of size “make her death matter” by advocating strongly for their health.

Five-year-old Garrett Matthias helped his parents write his obituary before he died of rhabdomyosarcoma in 2018. He wrote that when he dies he is “going to be a gorilla and throw poo at Daddy!” and that he wants “to be burned (like when Thor’s Mommy died) and made into a tree so I can live in it when I’m a gorilla.”