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Just Richard

Indeed peace please give me the time to say peace of mind body and soul is the darkest light, from the darkness soul.
Indeed a man with no family to call his family, family?
Indeed that's the new world I live in now, the cry is called crying out loud.
Indeed I see the light from the darkest room in this room, from the embarrassments I live in from the so called family now I see how money is the rule of evil!
Indeed that's the pain how much pain is to much, WOW and it still painfully pain!
Indeed that's my mental health system inside of me dealing with the tears of hurt a shame of the so-called family and friends!
Indeed one day about this time I was posting something on my mind at that time, and someone wrote something that maked me feel real bad inside of me.
The Mighty community is good all the time to me and thanks to the one's that listen, that give me that peace of mind I look forward to from the special people, like me.
Indeed my mother my best friend is pass away from cancer and I miss my best friend!
Indeed to not honor your parent's is bad, I honor my parents but my so called sisters didn't!
Indeed and I tried calling no help at all just greedy want the money!
Indeed my mother no funeral for her I try to Green miles one day back to back just me and mom do.
Indeed the image's of her suffering in my face is more pain mom do took a hole out of me, that green miles worked I was about 95 lb soaking wet from 160 lb!
Indeed my mother is inside of me dealing with the tears of hurt a shame of the so-called family got me like a ghost!
Indeed its good to be back here to the mighty community
see y'all soon peace and love just richard.

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Inactive ingredients: these are important too!

A little over a month ago, I posted about noticing a change in my medication’s effectiveness after the manufacturer changed and how I suspected it was the dye used because I felt repulsed by the taste when I took my daily dose.
Turns out, after reading my medication info pamphlet, the dye used was most definitely the issue. Yesterday, my doctor ordered a different dose for me to start - it’s the same manufacturer, just higher dose, so the dyes used are different to help distinguish appearance.

The troublesome inactive ingredient for my lower dose is the controversial Red dye 3 - banned in multiple countries and scientists have petitioned the FDA to have it completely banned with no action taken except for banned use in cosmetics.

While noted that the cancer was a result from high doses of daily ingestion, it’s commonly used in the US and it’s fair to suspect any prolonged daily use would ultimately cause same result. With some comparative endocrinology knowledge, the mechanism for how it causes cancer in rats by reducing T3 circulation and increasing TSH secretion is not something that would only impact rats. It’s an endocrine disrupter - and the hormones involved would be considered applicable to humans’ processes as well; insanely low dose or high dose does not necessarily make a difference.

This may also explain weird fatigue, upset stomachs, and increase in migraine attacks for myself recently after 2 months of ingesting my daily medication made with this Red dye 3. Luckily, recent blood tests show my TSH levels are within normal limits, but there has been an increase since the change occurred and in December of last year.

Lastly, Red dye 3 has been shown to have hyperactivity and hypersensitivity side effects, too, which would explain why my ADHD medication didn’t seem as effective.
While my new dose has a less controversial red dye (red dye 40), I will be mindful to be aware of side effects and notify my doctor to specifically prescribe for manufacturers that do not use the controversial dyes. This could cause delays in receiving my medication, but it’s better than continuing to ingest something that can give me cancer and causes my medication to be less effective.

So just a reminder how important it is to check those inactive ingredients because they DO make a difference.

#ADHD #ChronicFatigue #ChronicIllness #ADHDInGirls

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Being alone

Being alone is a tricky thing because even though we have an evolutionary instinct to find fulfillment through social groups and romantic partners, neither will actually fulfill us. It's so easy to believe that if only we had the social or romantic status that we dream of that it would make us happy, but how many people do you know (including yourself) who have found either of these and still felt lonely? There is of course nothing wrong with either. But as long as you place your worth on an external person or object, you will ultimately be left unsatisfied and will either want more or want something new. Be comfortable being alone first, and then let whatever fruits of this world come in and out of your life. Does anyone practice this?

As a way to better share advice with you all, I make video responses to your mental health questions.

The last video I made was about what to do if you find yourself distracting yourself from painful thoughts and what that could mean. If this sounds relevant to you, you can check out the video here:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

Otherwise, if you have any questions about mental health, please post in my group and I will try to make a video response specifically for you.

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

Speaking of thanks for all, I was hoping we could acknowledge everyone who comments below. I know it seems like a small gesture, but many people here have never opened up to anyone before and being open and honest with strangers can be quite scary. So, if we could show our gratitude by giving their comment a simple reply or heart, I’m sure they would really appreciate your team support. What do you say?

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

184 reactions 44 comments
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What will you prioritize on your to-do list today?

Mighties, let’s share what we’re prioritizing today from our to-do list. Whether it's running a time-sensitive errand, wrapping up a specific project at work, taking some time for much-needed self-care, returning a phone call, grocery shopping, or even updating your personal or family calendar, we are cheering you on to get 👏 it 👏 done!

Mighty staffer @xokat is going to try and finish cleaning out her fridge and churn out some work-related writing since she wasn’t feeling very well yesterday and admittedly got behind. (It happens!)

P.S. If "all" you do today is surviveand make it through, that absolutely counts and we're really proud of you. 🫶

#52SmallThings #CheerMeOn #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Caregiving #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Cancer #Autism #ADHD #RareDisease #Disability

17 reactions 14 comments
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What routines are important for you to include as you plan out your day?

From waking up or going to bed at a certain time, taking a shower, writing a to-do list, or taking intentional time out for self-care and relaxation, including a few routines can be helpful in creating structure and consistency to our day-to-day schedules.

What routines do you find important to include when you plan out your day? Why are those routines important?

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #RareDisease #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Caregiving #Autism #ADHD #Cancer

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What’s your most low-maintenance health condition?

We talk a lot on The Mighty about the symptoms, experiences, emotions, and diagnoses that impact our day-to-day — some of us are more weighed down by physical illnesses, while others manage an all-consuming mental illness or caregiving role. But one perspective we don’t talk about as much are the conditions that we just kind of… forget about? (We know, we know, sounds fake. 😅)

Whether it’s because you’re in remission or very rarely experience flares or episodes, have another condition that causes more trouble, or live with a diagnosis that you were born with and don’t really put that much concerted, conscious effort into managing it — it’s time to choose your “golden child.”

For Mighty staffer @xokat, it’s definitely her rare headache disease, SUNCT syndrome. Thankfully she hasn’t been in a pain cycle in over a year and a half (it’s very common for the disease to enter long periods of remission), and she only takes one preventive medication to keep the attacks at bay. Other than that? Absolutely out of sight, out of mind. It’s very rarely something she thinks about, plans around, or talks about. What a treat!

What’s that low-maintenance condition for you?

#MightyMinute #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Caregiving #Cancer #Autism #ADHD

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Smile

Has anyone smiled this morning? What made you smile? If something is holding you back, what is it? I'd love to help if I can.

As a way to better share advice with you all, I make video responses to your mental health questions.

The last video I made was in response to @myshel who asked about how to silence the mind. If this sounds relevant for you, you can check out the video here:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

Otherwise, if you have any questions about mental health, please post in my group and I will try to make a video response specifically for you.

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

Speaking of thanks for all, I was hoping we could acknowledge everyone who comments below. I know it seems like a small gesture, but many people here have never opened up to anyone before and being open and honest with strangers can be quite scary. So, if we could show our gratitude by giving their comment a simple reply or heart, I’m sure they would really appreciate your team support. What do you say?

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

99 reactions 21 comments
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Why Mother's Day is Bittersweet

#CPTSD #Abuse #DBT #Relationships #Healing (TW:SI&Abuse)

Mother's Day is a bittersweet day for me. I am the luckiest mom in the world to the most incredible human. I'm amazed that this tiny person has blossomed into a young lady challenging the world. It's like looking in a mirror, and it makes my heart happy to her creativity, thoughtfulness and loving and caring soul. You'd be proud. The reason she's turning into that person a for very different reasons than I did. Here are the things I am willing to thank you for in teaching me how to parent, but for what most adults would.

I swore I was never getting married or having children. I never wanted to end up with a broken life, and a child from a broken home. Fast forward to that's where I am since you've passed. The 5 month period of death of the step-monster, grandmother, then you and the falling apart of the family left me holding a big bag of grief that my partner didn't want to be a part of.

There were some happy memories, overshadowed by the abuse I had to learn to live my life around. To keep safe. There's many years still blocked out, but the layers uncovered are the most painful.

I was just like you, despite how many times you told me you hated me because I was exactly like my father. You brainwashed all 3 of us children about what an evil man he was. I swore to never speak ill of my child's father, and I stand by that despite how difficult it can be. I've now lived in your shoes, struggled without child support and making ends meet due to co-parent's bad choices.

When my daughter was the age I was when the sexual abuse was happening right in front of you, and you did nothing. You blamed me for the rest of your life up until the end that I was the cause of all your misery. Shipping me off to live with my grandparents for that short time was the only good memories from childhood. Until cancer took them both and I had no choice but to return to you.

How you instilled hatred of me to my siblings was something that looking back on it now, they knew not what they did. When I came to you for help when Grandpa was terminal, I was so scared losing the only person I had in my life to protect me from you. He was the only one who would stop the beatings once we were living with him after Grandma passed.

When you encouraged me me to suicide because it would make your life easier, that was something that will forever be with me. You beat me so often because of your undiagnosed mental illness that the coping mechanisms I had to learn early, I've had to unlearn as an adult.

The bruises healed, the bloody injuries gone, but I'm still trying to unwrap my sense of worth because of your venom. Seeing friends Mother's Day posts on social media is too much as I didn't have the same experiences that most do.

What you did teach me are all the things NOT to do in raising my little Mini Me. Her feelings matter, her opinions matter and I'll always take the time to listen.

She's the only thing I'm able to invest myself in outside of my job. I can't keep relationships, despite my stabs at therapy because there are a lot of broken people out there. Because of the Generational Trauma that stopped with me I can give her tools for her toolkit vs bruises and excuses.

Your son is just like you, and I hope that you can see the mess his family is. Multiple charges of domestic abuse, children he isn't allowed to see, and a wife living in a shelter. Both beautiful granddaughters of yours living in a group home because I was unable to take them in. That broke my heart dealing with CAS retelling stories of what the abuse looked like, so they could understand how to deal with him and reluctance to change. Or seek help that isn't alcoholism.

Everything fell apart when my sister passed. You being sick the same time was devastating to me. But you were more concerned about yourself. She was terminal, but you were struggling with your disease progression, so I understand now the way you acted crazy. Your nephew turned out amazing despite his rough start losing his mom as a toddler. That's the other reason this day hurts because the day she passed was the day before your birthday. And a week before Mother's Day.

You've taught me the mother not to be, so I thank you for that. You apologized the best way a narcissist knows how near the end so I've had to interpret it the best I can through therapy.

My daughter is awesome, you'd be proud someone broke the cycle. Happy Mother's Day to any readers who also struggle this day. This Mama tries her best to remember that I'm a great mom, even on days when I feel I'm not. We don't have to repeat what was taught to us. The day you passed was the first day I finally felt healing begin, though it's been a decade I've still got a way to go.

But I forgive you. I'm a survivor.

(edited)
4 reactions 4 comments