Most people, at one point or another, have lied about how theyāre feeling. From white lies that spare the feelings of others to not telling the truth because youāre afraid of the reaction youāll get, weāve all told a lie before. When you live with bipolar disorder, explaining your moods to others can be tough. Maybe they donāt really understand the high highs of mania or the low lows of depression, or maybe you havenāt told them you have bipolar disorder.
⢠What is Bipolar disorder?
You might tell a lie to those who donāt āgetā bipolar disorder, as a way to explain your moods or actionsĀ ā especially during a manic episode where you might feel wired and not need to sleep or buy things you canāt afford. You might say things like:
āIāve just had a lot of sugar and itās making me feel hyper.ā
āI slept enough last night.ā
āI really needed these new pairs of shoes.ā
While it might be difficult, being open and honest with others about your struggles can help them better understand the condition and support you.Ā If you have trouble explaining how you feel, try coming up with a system that lets you share how you are doing without explicitly having to state what your mood is. For example, this color chart can help you communicate your bipolar disorder symptoms by sharing ātodayās color.ā Each color is linked to a different symptom, making it easier to communicate how youāre feeling on a day where you may not have the words or ability to do so otherwise.
Of course, if youāve lied about how youāre feeling youāre not alone. We wanted to know what lies people have told when they are experiencing mania, so we asked members of our bipolar disorder community to share them with us.
Hereās what they had to say:
1. āItās just the caffeine.ā
āāIām not manic, I promise. Iāve just had a couple of coffees.āā ā Isaac O.
2. āI have the money to pay for this.ā
āāI can afford this shopping spree.āāĀ ā Gianina J.
āāAll these things Iāve bought? I needed them. I wonāt regret buying them one bit, not even when I canāt afford my rent. Nope. Not at all.āā ā Sophie M.
3. āIām just in a good mood, thatās all.ā
āāJust because Iām in a really good mood and really energetic does not mean Iām manic.ā āOf course, Iāve been taking my meds.ā Just a couple out of many lies I tell myself and others when Iām manic because I refuse, at that moment, to believe Iām manic. I really want to think that Iāve finally beat this bipolar thing and thatās why Iām so much more productive. Then, inevitably, it all comes crashing down around me and thatās when I realize that I was manic and Iām not cured.āĀ ā Holly A.
āāNo Iām just in a really good mood today.ā Because if people catch on that Iām manic, theyāll try and force it away. Or institutionalize meā¦again.āĀ ā Pierre-Julien C.
4. āIām not overbookedĀ ā I got this.ā
āāI know I can handle all these plans I make.āāĀ ā Bryan M.
5. āItās just my anxiety.ā
āāMy anxiety is just bothering me a little bit, but itās alright.āāĀ ā Megan B.
āāMust be anxiety making me feel this way.ā I tell it to myself because itāll stop my thoughts from becoming intrusive.Ā (Especially when it comes to spending all my money, quitting my job, etc.)āĀ ā Cristi B.
6. āIām like this all the time.ā
āāMaybe if I pretend Iām like this all the time, I wonāt go into a depressive state.āāĀ ā Elizabeth M.
7. āIām my true self when Iām in this state.ā
āāIām myself when Iām manic. Iām a better person because I can see so much better, I love deeper, try harder, etc.ā Iām actually my best self when stable. Manic, Iām a nightmare to be around.āĀ ā Bethany B.
8. āIām sticking to my treatment regiment.ā
āāYeah Iām taking my meds/going to therapy.ā Knowing good and well I stopped taking them a couple of weeks ago, because I leveled out after my depression, and thought I was cured.āĀ ā Emily G.
9. āIām just really happy.ā
āOh there are many but the first one is always: āIām not manic, Iām just extremely happy today and just have a lot of exciting new energy and if I keep it a secret, it will go away!āāĀ ā Natalie W.
10. āItās actually my ADHD.ā
āāItās just my ADHD making me forgetful and full of energy.āĀ Joys of having multiple diagnoses, I just wind up blaming one of the others.āĀ ā Ashley B.
11. āIām taking care of myself.ā
āThat I am looking after myself, Iām feeling great, life is wonderful and I love every living soul but really just the opposite. Surviving on three to four hours sleep, loss of appetite, reserves low and the [knowledge] of the inevitable tumble way back down.āĀ ā Mary Jane E.
12. āI donāt need help.ā
āāI donāt need help. I can finally beat this thing.ā Because I feel on top of the world when manic. Then reality comes roaring back and I realize that it was a side effect and I need help in this state as much as I do during a depressive episode.āĀ ā Jolyn B.
13. āI donāt need sleep.ā
āāI donāt need to sleepā or āI slept an hour, thatās plenty.ā āYouāre not going fast enough (drive faster, work faster, clean faster).ā āEverybody loves me, everybody wants me. Iām going to make everyone jealous because they canāt have me only my husband can.ā (At which point I start being all over himā¦.not that he minds of course)āĀ ā Ashley W.
āI donāt need to eat/sleep ā because itās exactly what I need to help stabilize my mood. Instead, still enjoying the beginning of a high, I tell myself it will make me feel even better.āĀ ā Vanessa L.
14. āIām stable.ā
āāThis isnāt mania. Iām doing OK and Iām stable!āā I so desperately want to be ānormalā that my āhappyā and mania makes me think that Iām getting better and I am stable as I self-medicate on retail therapy.āĀ ā Alex D.
15. āI donāt have bipolar anymore.ā
āāI donāt have bipolar anymore, I am cured!āāĀ ā Aimee R.
āāI donāt have an illness and Iām indestructible!āāĀ ā Frances C.
To connect with other people who āgetā it, download The Mightyās app and post a Thought or Question using the hashtag,Ā #BipolarDisorder. Weāre here for you.
If youāre struggling to manage your mania, check out the tips in this story. You got this.
