10 COVID-19 Emotions You're Not the Only One Having
If your emotions feel like a rollercoaster because of COVID-19, youâre not alone. Almost every aspect of life on this planet is affected. Much of what weâre facing in this new reality is scary â from fear of getting sick to job loss, physical isolation from loved ones and just not knowing what comes next.
Because COVID-19, a coronavirus that causes respiratory infection, has such a big impact, there isnât a ârightâ or âwrongâ way to feel. Itâs normal to feel mixed emotions, feel really angry one moment to apathetic the next. Weâre experiencing a collective trauma, and whatever youâre feeling makes sense and serves a purpose.
COVID-19 and the Trauma Response
The COVID-19 pandemic causes so many of us to cycle through the stress response designed to protect us from threat. To survive, your brainâs limbic system, including the amygdala, shuts down the thinking part of your brain and automatically responds in the moment. It chooses a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response based on what helped you survive in the past.
Kristin Keliher, Ma.Ed., a professional school counselor, explained that your survival instincts may not know what to do with the threat of a pandemic since itâs new. Â
âA pandemic is not a stress recognized by the survival system so it cycles through fight. ⌠If that doesnât work it will try flight,â Keliher told The Mighty. âWhen there is nothing to fight and we canât flee from this pandemic, our survival system kicks on the parasympathetic nervous system and chooses freeze.â
So it cycles through all of them trying to decide which is most beneficial. Fight can be seen as anger, anxiety, adrenaline rush. Flight can be seen as overexcitement, anger. Freeze is depression, sadness, ambivalence.
â Kris (@h2odancer74) March 28, 2020
Feelings About COVID-19
Keliher, who works with adolescents, said sheâs seen everything from people being shut down and having no motivation or feeling tired, restless, worried, sad, overwhelmed, exhausted or angry in response to COVID-19. Whatever youâre feeling, know itâs valid.
Hereâs why you may be feeling some of these emotions:
1. Fear and Anxiety
One of the most common emotions people are feeling is anxiety. In a survey of more than 12,000 members of The Mightyâs community, 92% reported they were feeling anxious due to COVID-19.
Anxiety can look like worry, ruminating thoughts, difficulty sleepy, panic, worry, and physical symptoms like racing heart, rapid breathing and tightness in the chest. According to Joann Wright, Ph.D., director of clinical services at Timberline Knolls, this makes sense because fear triggers our flight instinct.
âFear is a natural reaction to a pandemic,â Wright told The Mighty. âFear is also a necessary part of life. It keeps us safe and alive.â
2. Apathy or Numbness
If youâre feeling apathetic, numb or dissociated, youâre most likely in a freeze state, which occurs after it becomes apparent you canât fight or run from a threat. Keliher also said trauma survivors may land on a freeze response if itâs in the past, âso the survival brain chooses what is stored in the memory as being successful.â
You may also feel shut down like you canât take on anything else because itâs too much. The numbness may give you a way to temporarily avoid difficult emotions about COVID-19 until youâre in a better place to start process what else youâre feeling.
3. Sadness or Grief
Regardless of whether your sadness comes from not being able to visit your loved ones in person or from a canceled event, itâs normal to feel sad or grief. A loss is a loss, no matter the size. As Mighty contributor Lauren Rockwell wrote, sadness and grief can also come from recognizing the world has changed forever, which Rockwell calls âambiguous loss.â
âWe are in the first stage of grieving these ambiguous losses. But many of us donât recognize it yet,â Rockwell wrote, adding:
The ambiguity speaks to the loss of dreams and futures imagined â the loss of things hoped for and for feelings anticipated. Itâs the loss of those wispy, hard to get your hands around yet real beliefs about the metrics of the world. The loss of the steadfast feeling of our safety, and a sense that we live in a world where things are just, people do the right thing and rewards are fairly certain.
4. Anger
There are many reasons you may angry due to COVID-19. The virus has made going to the store more complicated nor can you head to your favorite restaurant with friends, which is frustrating. You may be angry about how your government leaders are handling the pandemic or the sacrifices people are asked to make as health care resources are scarce.
Anger, aggression and irritation can also be part of your fight response. Often, anger covers for emotions that make you feel more vulnerable. Itâs not uncommon for people to express anxiety or depression, for example, through anger or irritation.
5. Hopelessness or Depression
Feelings of hopelessness or depression can show up as part of a freeze response, or when your system is so overwhelmed you crash. The future is uncertain, so many people are facing major challenges and the news about COVID-19 is often difficult to watch. If this feels insurmountable, like it will never get better, youâre not alone. Reach out for support when you need it.
If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting âSTARTâ to 741741.
6. Calm
Sometimes people feel completely calm in the middle of a storm, whether itâs their nature or an adaptive skill from surviving trauma. Mighty contributor Vicki Peterson, who lives with C-PTSD, explained that sheâs wired to be hypervigilant, which helps prepare ahead of time and even stay calm in the middle of an emergency.
âBecause of my trauma history, Iâm used to thinking about worst-case scenario situations. I do it on the daily,â Peterson wrote about preparing for COVID-19. âSo, right now, I feel calm, because I know Iâve got this.âÂ
Keep in mind while you may feel calm now, your true emotional reaction may be delayed. Peterson explained a post-emergency crash is what happens for her as the brain and body catch up and process what happened.
7. Denial
COVID-19 and its impact are hard to swallow â we donât want it to be happening. Sometimes this can lead to denial or even an optimism bias, where you know something bad can happen but youâre less likely to believe that negative experience applies to you. (Spring breakers who ignored physical distancing recommendations arguably experienced an optimism bias about COVID-19).
Denial can be a healthy coping skill when it doesnât put you in harmâs way. By pushing away an issue or downplaying the impact, youâre better able to absorb the initial emotional impact of a distressing event until youâre ready to face it head-on. Over time, with support, youâll want to move through denial and process your feelings.
8. Exhaustion
If you find yourself wearing out faster than usual, youâre in good company. The heightened anxiety, swinging emotions, changes to routine, extra steps needed to complete basic tasks, readjusting to a new normal, spending more time inside â all of these drain your batteries faster than usual.
9. Shame
Shame might not seem related to COVID-19, but it can be both a part of your freeze response and a danger to your system. According to Keliher, you may feel shame if you or others are judging your emotional reactions to the COVID-19 pandemic. Thatâs why itâs important to know your feelings are valid.
âHearing that our current reactions to this pandemic are natural and normal can lift some of that ânot good enoughâ feeling,â she said. âTalking about our feelings and bringing these thoughts and behaviors we are having into the light will help reduce our shame individually and collectively as a society.â
10. Gratitude
You may be experiencing pockets of gratitude right now, and that makes sense too. Stepping into the sunshine after days spent indoors becomes a simple pleasure with extra meaning. A video call with an old friend brings a moment of joy and laughter, and quiet time at home with pets can lead you to appreciate small comforts when everything else feels out of control.Â
How to Cope With COVID-19 Emotions
No matter what youâre feeling right now, your feelings are valid and serve a purpose. The COVID-19 pandemic is not business as usual, so be gentle with yourself. Reach out to others and stay grounded with activities like yoga, meditation, art or journaling. Youâre doing the best you can right now, and youâre not alone.
âAll emotions are OK and valid and there as protection,â said Keliher, adding:
If we can control our breathing and take a moment to notice the sounds around us, our brain will receive the message we are safe in this moment and begin to come out of survival mode and back into connection/thinking mode. The more we do this, the stronger this reaction will be and more grounded we can feel through this pandemic.
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