Learning to Put My Well-Being First as a Young Adult With a Disability

I once had a mentor send me a quote that had to do with the connection of growth and feeling broken. I forgot the exact wording, but the quote was along the lines of understanding that if I felt as if situations were constantly falling apart around me, I was growing. He sent me this when I just graduated college and I was trying to figure out what independence would look like as a college graduate and an adult with a disability, while being a part of a world that can be unaccepting and inaccessible without knowledge of how to come to terms with supporting my lifelong needs or abilities.

Like most things that come from people who mean the world to me, I appreciated it, but had no idea how much more powerful the quote and conversations would be five months later. I did not think much about the power of the quote as I have dealt with overcoming everything that’s been in my way since birth. It is as if my mentor knew what was coming even though I did not, that he wanted to tell me that he would always support me regardless of what happens in my life.

I received this quote sometime in April and it is now September. In that five-month timeframe, I decided to: quit my internship, sell my car, start counseling, end the strength of certain relationships and deal with what seems to be a never-ending health battle. For a while, I was not understanding why everything was happening all at once and why my resolutions for a new job, supportive healthcare system, or success with driving weren’t coming together. I have kept this quote and meaningful mentorship close to my heart through it all.

As I constantly remind myself of the power of the mentorship, I started to understand my self-worth and the true meaning of the quote. Everything must fall apart to find who I truly am. Growth has the most power when I understand that even when it feels shattering, the dreams I had for myself aren’t always what’s meant for me, and having the courage to move on will be freeing. Ending the strength of certain relationships and going to counseling allows me the opportunity to learn the most valuable life skill of putting myself first. Selling my car allows me to understand that I will be valued for more than one way of accomplishing goals without the traditional pressures of society. Lastly, ending my internship allows me to realize there is a point when skills learned deserve to be recognized for more than just free work.

Hold onto the things people say to you. I promise that everything shapes you into who you are meant to be, and mentors are meant to guide you because they have been where you are.