When Life During the COVID-19 Pandemic Falls Into the 'Covid Clump'

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed my life has developed into a recognizable pattern. I’ve given what I’ve observed a fair amount of thought and even given it a name.

I call it: “The Covid Clump.”

After posting about it on my social media, I realized a lot of folks have been stuck in a similar loop. So I’d like to share about it here too because my goal is always to help folks feel less alone. Keep reading to see if what I describe sounds familiar.

For a time, things feel basically “normal.” There are even some days filled with good ideas and completed projects.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, all sorts of things pile up together in a clump.

There is unbelievable tiredness. Feelings of anxiousness and of being overwhelmed. There can also be some anger, confusion and sadness.

When I run into small-sized obstacles or issues, they feel massive. Big problems make it feel like the world is coming to an end. My coping skills are usually much healthier than this.

Reality checks are a bit tricky because frankly, the world is indeed not ordinary in a serious way.

“The Covid Clump” starts to feel like I’m on the edge of a depressive episode. There are tears, isolation and the occasional creation of dank memes.

I find myself working more or working less, depending on what seems like it might help. Additionally, my eating, sleeping and the usual things get weird.

Then one day I wake up, and for no particular reason I feel “normal.” Then a few weeks later, it all starts over again.

How you experience this cycle may look a little different. The phases don’t have to go in the order I described, and it’s of course possible to find yourself in a mixture that isn’t quite so clear. Perhaps you’ve never quite gotten back to your “normal” place.

I chose the word clump because it resonates with me for a few reasons. Firstly, clump sounds like “slump” but starts with a “C” like COVID-19. Secondly, clump does a good job of visually representing the idea of a cluster of emotions and troubles. You may have a different word for it; so long as you find it helpful, that’s great. I’ve also heard of the “Covid-Coaster,” “Surge Capacity,” “Roller-Corona,” “Cov-haustion” … and so on.

“The Covid Clump” doesn’t always respond the same way towards each thing I’ve tried to get rid of it. I’ve gone through times of feeling negative and positive regarding my ability to make it through the coronavirus pandemic. If it’s unruly for you too, welcome.

As far as I’ve found, the only way out of a “Covid Clump” is to use time, determination and luck. This might not seem super helpful, but I haven’t figured anything else out that works so reliably, so it’s the best I’ve got.

Time and determination have taught me that if I can recognize something as a part of a pattern – I can also realize that I’ve been here before, I made it through and I can do it again. Luck for me is as I described above; sometimes you just wake up and things feel a bit better. Which in a way is a hopeful thing, because I’m still able to believe things can improve.

Have you found yourself in a similar pattern? Have you found the words to describe it, or heard another interesting explanation? What have you found has been helpful to you when you find yourself in a clump?

If you enjoyed this article, please take a moment to check out some of my other articles here on The Mighty. If you’d like to follow along with my journey, you can find me on Instagram as @mentalhealthyxe.