Learning to Accept ADD as a Part of Who I Am

I have a very short attention span and even shorter patience. I have always been this way, even as a young child. After 43 years of struggling, fighting and beating myself up about it. I’ve now learned how to accept it for what it is and to stop judging, punishing myself and feeling guilty for it.

Instead I now work to accommodate these personality traits as best I can. I’ve learned to organize my goals properly and to make comprehensive to do lists as well as focusing on making sure my expectations are realistic and healthy. So even though I have such a short attention span, I am still able to complete the tasks I need to accomplish. By breaking them down into shorter and less complex goals and spacing them apart, I’m giving myself the necessary distance and decompression time in between that is required for me to refocus my energy and attention. I am able to not only meet my needs and complete my goals, but I finish feeling empowered, accomplished and productive. And I do this without allowing myself to feel guilty, apologetic or like I need to make excuses. This validation is crucial to my continued success and belief in my abilities.

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I’ve learned that acknowledging my limitations is not an admission of any type of defect of mine, but it is a healthy and very necessary part of this journey of personal evolution. I’ve learned coping skills, such as meditation, breathing exercises, artistic distractions and prayer to help me deal with my attention deficit disorder (ADD)  in a healthy, calm and productive manner. I also give myself permission to step away from any particular person or situation that heavily tries my patience or I feel is unhealthy for me. I’ve learned to speak up and tell them honestly and firmly that I do not possess the patience and/or attention span needed at this particular moment to continue with this interaction.

By doing this I have empowered myself with the ability to simply walk away — an attribute I once deemed impossible for me to acquire. I stopped forcing myself to suffer through the torture, stress and anxiety that staying in these type of tense situations caused me and instead I gave myself permission to speak openly on it, guilt free and with the knowledge that my healthy boundaries must be enforced. In doing so this is not only more than OK, but it is absolutely necessary for my psychological well-being. Walking away without regret or excuses will always be what’s best for everyone involved, especially myself. There is no shame or selfishness in doing that either, in fact it’s a manifestation of self love, self awareness, strength, integrity and an affirmation of my immense personal growth.

I also stopped allowing myself to view my attention deficit disorder as a character flaw, but instead as an important part who I am as an individual. That it is not only more than OK to have ADD, but it’s actually a completely acceptable and quite beautiful part of my personality. These qualities are just as worthy of being a lovable part about myself as all the others I possess. I was simply conditioned by my unhealthy upbringing and this warped society to view it previously in such a negative and judgmental manner. Acceptance and unconditional love comes in all forms, no matter what it may look like to others, and we as individuals need to embrace this revolutionary act of such unconditional love wholeheartedly. Others opinions, judgments and lack of proper perspective or awareness do not define me, my worth or who I am. In fact, being judged for having ADD says more about their character flaws than it ever did mine.

I’m not seeking the impossible illusion of perfection, but simply the realistic and attainable long term goals of progress and peace. Cognitive awareness is an integral part of our mental and emotional evolution as individuals. Learning how to live with attention deficit disorder can be extremely challenging and requires an immense amount of effort, strength, fortitude and commitment. Yet it is also an incredibly rewarding, liberating and integral tool used to help ourselves evolve into even more beautiful and enlightened human beings capable of accomplishing miraculous things we once dared not dream possible.