10 Affirmations for When You Think You're Unlovable

Many people have periods of time when they feel like they are unwanted, unneeded or downright unlovable, times when they feel like they are a nuisance, a hindrance, a bother or that they cannot do anything correctly. You may be not feeling well, be struggling with school or work, be butting heads with family and friends or having a hard time dealing with life at the moment, just trying to find your way in this world.

Please don’t be so hard on yourself!

Many people struggle with their personal views of themselves at different points in their lives. Many people feel like they are broken or flawed, that they just don’t fit in. Many people question whether they matter, or deserve to matter. You’re not alone!

But please know this:

You aren’t unlovable. You aren’t unwanted or unneeded. You are worthy and deserving of love simply for being you.  And you are absolutely marvelous in your own way. 

Next time you are feeling unlovable or questioning your place in the world, please remember this:

1. You do not need to say or do anything specific in order to be worthy of love. You are worthy of love simply because you exist. You have inherent worth just for being you.

2. Nobody is perfect. I rarely speak in absolutes, but this is an exception. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has flaws and that is OK. Feeling like you must be perfect in order to be loved is setting an unrealistic expectation for yourself. You can and will make mistakes in life and you will still be worthy of love.

3. You do not have to be performing at your best in order to be loved. Nobody is at their best all the time. Again, another absolute but please hear me out. If you were at your best all the time, it wouldn’t be your best, it would be your average.  Some days are easier, and others are harder. But no matter what kind of day you are having and what you are capable of doing in the moment, please refer back to number one: You are worthy of love simply because you exist. 

4. Different people have different ways that they shine. You may not do one particular thing very well, but different people have different things they excel at. You may have a beautiful singing voice, make a killer grilled cheese sandwich, give the best hugs, or have a smile that lights up a room. You don’t have to be the best at everything. Just be yourself. 

5. We often cannot see our own beauty, much like a butterfly is unable to see the magnificence of their own wings. Though you may not feel very lovable or be unable to see your own splendor, it does not mean you have not added your own beautiful mark to this world. Like the butterfly, it is likely you are oblivious to how beautiful your existence truly is.

6. We are often harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else. Many people are self-deprecating or hypercritical of themselves in ways and to degrees they would never aim at anyone else. We should always try to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others because self-love is an essential part of self-care. Whenever you think in terms of everybody deserving love, kindness and respect, don’t forget to include yourself because you matter just as much as everyone else and are just as worthy.

7. There are many types of love. Often, people think of love solely in terms of romantic love, forgetting that there are many other types of love that exist. The love from family and friends, the adoration from pets, the admiration of coworkers, colleagues or classmates — love can present itself in many ways in our lives. Not currently having a romantic relationship does not mean you are unlovable because there are many other types of love that are all wonderful in their own way.

8. There are sometimes people in your life that may make you feel unwanted or unlovable. The sad truth is that not everyone in this world is kind, loving, accepting or has your best interest at heart. That does not mean there is anything wrong with you. The actions and opinions of others does not change your value. If you crumpled up a $10 bill, it would still be worth $10. Someone else hurting you or being unable to see your worth does not change your inherent value. 

9. Mental and physical illnesses can play a big part in how we see ourselves and can distort our self-worth. When you do not feel well, sometimes that pain can project itself on other aspects of your life, negatively warping self-perception and self-worth, making you question your own value. You are more than your diagnosis. Your diagnosis does not define you. No matter how much your illness may feel like it is dragging you down, please refer back to number one: You are worthy of love simply because you exist.

10. Your existence in itself is a miracle. The mathematical odds of your very existence is astronomical. Such a miracle is absolutely worthy of love.