Dear Black Woman, You Deserve to Be Held

Dear Black woman,

How are your shoulders and back? Do they ache from bearing weight you never asked to carry? Are your arms and legs tired from holding up your family and friends? What about your spirit? Is it fatigued from years of forging on when every ounce of you physically, emotionally, and mentally needed to rest?

• What is PTSD?

Dear Black woman,

Cut the bullshit and be honest with me – are you OK after years of not being protected by those who were supposed to which lead to hyper-independence as a trauma response? Are you fine with the lack of support and being told you should be thankful for crumbs? Aren’t you exhausted from having to be everyone’s superhero to the extent that you tend to forget your own humanity?

Dear Black woman,

Disrespectfully, fuck the crumbs that they’ve made you beg for and then gaslit you over. Screw the people, places, and jobs that make you feel like you have to be anything other than yourself –  that if for a split second you’re imperfect, you’ll lose it all. To the exes, parents, “friends,” and society that props you up on a pedestal just to knock you down in the same movement, you’re worth so much more.

Dear Black woman,

You deserve to be held–you deserve to be held closely, fondly, and warmly. You deserve friendships you don’t have to question and lovers that will let you cry in their lap. You’re worth the same grace and humanity that’s given to your non-Black peers. You definitely deserve more than crumbs, or even flowers. You deserve gardens – rolling hills with bountiful blooms that go on for miles. 

Dear Black woman, 

You deserve love where you’re never asked “What do you bring to the table?” You deserve love that you don’t have to beg for. You deserve consistency, communication, and for all your love languages to be met without having to ask. You deserve a doting love, where you are the sun, moon, stars, and sky. You deserve a love that allows you to rest, where you can show up as your full self every single day. 

Dear Black woman,

You deserve more than what you’ve been given. You deserve for your mental and physical health to be taken seriously. You deserve to be heard and validated, not disrespected and thrown aside.

Dear Black woman,

You are loved. You are special. You’re not alone.  Please never forget that, but above all else.

Don’t forget your own humanity.