Why This Twitter Thread About Accommodating Neurodiverse People Matters to the Autistic Community

Recently, a tweet by an autistic mother of an autistic child went viral — and sparked a necessary conversation about accommodating neurodiverse people.  In her powerful tweet, she shared that her son struggled to tie his shoes, so rather than subject him to behavioral therapy to force him to learn how to lace his shoes, she simply bought him shoes without laces.  The tweet has garnered a variety of supportive responses from autistic adults — nearly all of whom reinforce the idea that people on the autism spectrum should not be forced into meeting arbitrary “neurotypical” milestones.

my 12yo can’t tie their shoes

but instead of going “oh I guess I’ll traumatize my kid with ABA until they reach this arbitrary milestone”

I just… bought shoes without laces

— K???????? (@dropoutninja) November 17, 2021

The debate between accommodating neurodiverse behavior and implementing behavior modification for neurodiverse people has been a hot topic in recent years — especially for people on the autism spectrum.  Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy has become a widely-used — and extremely controversial — technique that relies on eliminating “autistic” behavior in favor of “neurotypical” responses to stimuli.  ABA has a plethora of critics — many of whom are on the autism spectrum and have been through ABA themselves — who claim that ABA therapy touts harmless behavior from neurodiverse individuals as “wrong” or “unacceptable” and seeks to make people on the autism spectrum appear “less autistic.” 

The psychological effects of changing behavior that feels natural to a person on the spectrum are profound — autistic people are prone to struggling with major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders, and eating disorders.  Therefore, instead of forcing people with autism and other neurodiversities into “neurotypical” boxes, it’s far more productive to accept harmless neurodiverse behaviors and find ways to enable people who are neurodiverse to live in ways that fit their abilities.

Accepting and encouraging autistic and neurodiverse behavior runs counter to the rhetoric often used in ABA therapy, but it can take the pressure to “mask” off of neurodiverse people and allow them to be fully themselves.  Acting in neurotypical ways — memorizing social cues and body language, deciding not to self-stimulate, and quietly hiding overstimulation — takes a significant amount of energy for someone who isn’t neurotypical.  While it may feel more “socially appropriate” to expect neurodiverse people to behave in ways that resonate with the neurotypical population, it’s often stressful and stigmatizing and promotes a “treat” or “cure” mindset instead of an acceptance mindset.

Finding ways to accommodate people on the spectrum — and other neurodiverse people — is just as simple as the author of the viral tweet makes it sound. Encourage people to communicate in any safe way they realistically can — even using augmentative and alternative communication (AAC).  Respect others’ personal boundaries surrounding physical contact.  Allow your children to wear clothes and shoes they can put on independently — even if it means skirting “neurotypical” milestones.  Not everyone is neurotypical, and forcing neurodiverse people to fit arbitrary standards by punishing certain behavior is detrimental.  In a world where neurodiverse minds are accepted and respected just as they are, we’re all better off.