Attending Parents' Night at the School of My Son on the Autism Spectrum

I’m not sure how other parents feel about parents’ night. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it myself. I feel like I should prepare in advance and have some relevant and meaningful questions to ask about my son J and his schooling. However, I don’t prepare or think up things to ask, partly because the school keeps us informed of some of what he’s doing in his weekly summary and with termly updates.

I do, however, feel a bit anxious before I head in about how it will all go. Is he doing well? Does he try hard? Does he listen or do what he’s told? I know he recognizes his numbers to 20/30 and well beyond (probably up near 100). He doesn’t quite have 1-2-1 correspondence nailed for counting or know “the oneness of one,” but he’s trying hard and he’s getting there. He knows all of his colors and shapes. He can recognize and name every letter of the alphabet, in and out of sequence. He can sing with tune and rhythm, as well as finishing rhymes and songs by saying or singing the missing words (using approximations of words). I think he is amazing. He overcomes so much and he just gets on with things. He’s a trier and a doer. If he doesn’t get something, he just keeps trying. All of this I know, and I’m not worried about his “academic” progress as such.

My worry is about his social skills. His ability to relate to others, to play with his classmates, to make friends, to follow instructions, to join in and to respond to life in school appropriately. He quite likes his own company or space and doing his own thing. Can he go to assembly? Can he join in with performances? Does he watch whole school events or join in with them? I wonder if he’s coping in the classroom or wider school setting. He seems happy at school and seems like a happy boy generally. I’m grateful for this.

After speaking to his teacher tonight and looking through his books full of photographs and learning aims, which show what he’s achieved over the year, I have to say I’m impressed. His teachers, assistants and the school in general give him so many experiences and opportunities. He interacts with school on his own level, but over the course of his first year there, he has achieved so much. From not being able to join in at all and finding change and noise so hard to cope with, from not being able to sit at a desk or in a group, not playing or sharing with other children and not having many interactions with others, he has come such a long way. He can now join in with assemblies and whole school activities, he can sit for circle time, play alongside other children, join in with some activities in the class, go for outings in the local community and further afield, and he initiates interactions with people around him. He never leaves school without waving and saying “bye” to every member of staff he passes.

I’m one proud and happy mum tonight. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not an overtly emotional person, but I don’t mind saying that I have tears of joy running down my cheeks as I write this. My baby has overcome so much, he’s tried so hard, and although to many it may seem like small steps forward, for us he has made huge leaps. His school and the staff there have played a big part in that. We can’t thank them enough.

Follow this journey on Upside Mum.