Talking About Sex as a Man With Autism

What could be an important factor when you’re in a romantic relationship with someone? It’s something you almost certainly start thinking about at some point in your life, whether it’s as a teenager in high school or young adult. You might watch it in movies and learn about it in high school. The word is “sex.”

But what do men with autism think when it comes to sex? They might get nervous. I was nervous when I first started thinking about sex. I remember in college, someone asked me what a condom was. When I said I didn’t know, I felt embarrassed and I was ashamed. I was a virgin at that time as well. As I developed as a man with autism, I did start to desire sex and I have talked to other men with autism who desire it as well. Of course some don’t, because every man with autism is different about this topic.

I get hesitant and nervous each time I’ve had sex, because I don’t want an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Also, I fear my partner might judge me if they don’t think I’m good at it. I’ve been sexually active and I was very cautious with both partners, having protection with condoms and the women said they were on birth control.

If you are a man with autism who wants to have sex and have never had it, I get how you feel. You are a normal man. If your partner makes a sexual reference or tries to sext with you in a text conversation and you don’t understand what they mean, you’re not alone. When you do have a partner to have sex with, don’t force it. Make sure all sex is consensual. Agree with your partner on when you can have it. Tell your partner your needs related to autism before having sex, like how touching, germs and different kinds of sensations feel to you. They should know that before having sex with you.

People with autism have sex and have sexual desires like anyone else!