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When a Stranger Feels the Need to Comment on Your Child’s Meltdown

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Strangers who don’t really get autism don’t seem to understand the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. It’s a common problem. A tantrum is usually when someone is trying to get attention, while a meltdown is the overload of a child’s senses in one way or another.

If I had a nickel for every time a parent told me a story about their kid having a meltdown in a public place, I’d be a rich. But these situations also tend to be followed by a comment from a stranger such as, “A parent with a well-behaved child would never act out like that” or “Let me tell you how you can help your child stop that.”

I really wish people would stop being this ignorant when they say things like that. I’m not a parent, but, while growing up with autism, I remember my parents having to hear these comments from time to time. It was brutal. My parents aren’t bad parents. My parents are my champions and some of my greatest advocates I could ever ask for.

While noise-cancelling headphones and weighted blankets can help manage meltdowns, my strongest recommendation to parents has always been to try and remove potential triggers that can start a meltdown in the first place.

Other times, though, you just have to understand there won’t be a fix. You’re going to have to wait a meltdown out. Being there for your child and them knowing you’re in the room can make a world of difference. Never forget that.

And for those strangers out there who feel the need to make a comment while a child is experiencing a meltdown, please think about the words you’re going to say before you say them. We all have challenges — some are visible while others are not.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is something I hope you will takeaway next time around:

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

This post first appeared on

Lead photo source: Thinkstock Images

Originally published: September 8, 2016
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