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When I Feel Like My Life Is Being Planned for Me as an Adult With Autism

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Having autism is going to make you different, even if it’s only a little bit. You may wake up every day in an ongoing challenge that doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to end or get resolved. You fight every day of your life and you may  feel like you don’t ever seem to be winning the battle. You may not give up, but you think every now and then that you just want to start quitting. The problem most individuals with autism, myself included, face that I feel relates the most to these words is when you start to feel your life is being planned for you. 

Nobody wants their life to be planned for them. We all want to have our own goals and dreams. We may want advice from certain people including our families, but we don’t want them to be controlling our lives. Your family and friends may tell you that you shouldn’t go to college. Or they may tell you to go to college but not a pursue a bachelor’s degree. However, there are many people with autism who go to college and get bachelor’s degrees. That may have not been my choice for my own life, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue that.

You may not want to go to college, but you still want to work. Your family and friends may tell you that certain careers may work for you. However, you have a different career choice in mind and they don’t support it. A lot of individuals with disabilities go on Social Security Disability and other government benefits. They may be OK with that and don’t want to or can’t pursue working, not even working part time while on disability benefits. Some don’t even want to volunteer their time if working to get paid isn’t an option for them. But there are also people who want to pursue working full time without any assistance from the government. However, people including family and friends may encourage them to stay on benefits, believing it’s what’s best for them and they won’t be able to handle independence another way, financially or mentally.

I know how this feels. You can’t win at times. You just want to scream. However, take it easy and live day by day and what’s meant to be will be. When it comes to your family, they usually mean well and may just need help to know what’s best for you as an adult. There are also people out there who don’t have supportive families and are all alone on this. So it’s a good thing at times to go with your gut if you feel something is right for you. People including some of your family members and friends may not be supportive. But we all have one life to live, so make the best of it.

Getty image by Robbie.

Originally published: August 20, 2018
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