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27 Thoughts Everyone Has While on the Phone With the Insurance Company

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Dealing with insurance companies is the worst. Getting on the phone to discuss your coverage can be like embarking on an epic saga filled with disappointment, confusion, stress and maybe a threat (or two).

Here are 27 thoughts everyone has while on the phone with the insurance company:

“OK, I can do this. How bad can it be?”


“Annnnnd, I’m on hold.”


“All right, it’s taking a while, but I’m sure I’m next…”


“This is officially taking FOREVER.”


“Is there even a person on the other end?!”


“How has this phone call not even started?”


“I wonder if I could just doze off a little while I wait…”


“Oh yeah? My call is important to you, is it?!”


“Somebody… help… me…”


“Oh, oh, oh! A human voice!”


“Nope. Just the voice recording again.”


“This crappy elevator music is rotting my brain!”


“Yessssss, a human voice. For real this time!”


“Now, let the battle begin.”


“I’ll ask you questions all day long if I have to. Consider this a warning.”


“Please, please, please say we’re covered.”


“Oh, I’ll show YOU what ‘medical necessity’ looks like…  “


“I wonder if I can bribe this person… ?”


“I’ve spoken to five different people and received five different answers!”


“You will NOT put me back on hold.”


“Wait, who is this? Do you even work at this insurance company?”


“OK, I can do this. Hang in there.”


“Coverage denied?!”


“Do not start crying. DO NOT start crying.”


“Maybe we don’t need insurance. I could just sell a kidney…”


“I’ve wasted so many hours of my life on this phone call… “


“Guess I’ll just try again tomorrow.”

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Originally published: February 20, 2015
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