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My Childrens Book - I’m #Autistic & I’m Phenomenal

I’m Autistic & Im Phenomenal is a story that displays the challenges but more importantly the joys of autism through the eyes of a little autistic black girl, Experience her journey as she navigates both difficulties and the beauty of her unique perspective, shedding light on the power of acceptance and embracing differences 💜♾️available now
#Autism #AutismAcceptance #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ASD #AutismSpectrum #AutismInGirls #Nonverbal

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The beauty in being different feature #actuallyautistic #Autistic #Autism

Reflecting on her formative years, Ayanna shared, "I always sensed my differences but lacked
understanding. I was often perceived as the weird, awkward, black girl,' when in reality, my
struggles stemmed from anxiety and overstimulation. It was only seven years ago that I
received my autism diagnosis, and it was a complete revelation. The lack of representation for
black autistics, particularly black autistic women, inspired me to advocate for greater visibility."

I would love to share this article I was recently highlighted in link is below

Alora Neurodivergent Fine Art Dealers

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Are the terms “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” actually harmful? /genq

Because I don’t mind being labeled as “high-functioning” as an autistic individual. Is that wrong?

Of course autism is a spectrum. Traits that someone does and doesn’t show doesn’t make them any less autistic. No matter if they’re labeled high-functioning or low-functioning, they’re still autistic. Of course they are!

I saw a Pinterest post showing example “A and B are both autistic” and that said “there’s no such thing as ‘high-functioning’ and ‘low-functioning’” and that “those terms are harmful to use towards the autistic community.” I do agree that it shouldn’t be used on entire groups, especially on those who don’t like it, (just like how the terms “disability” or “disorder/ASD” shouldn’t be used on everyone) but what about for those who don’t mind being labeled as high-functioning and maybe reclaim it, such as myself? Is that wrong? Because I felt kind of offended by that post.

I don’t like gatekeeping, so I hate folks/folx telling me what I should and shouldn’t be comfortable with labeling myself.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #question #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Autistic #IsThisRight #Labels

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My soon to be released children’s book #Autism #AutismSpectrumDisorder

Every child in this world is different some differences are noticeable some aren’t, disabled children struggle on a daily basis with their challenges but you know what else they struggle with? Bullying! My soon to be released book ‘ I’m Autistic & Im Phenomenal’ talks about the challenges & the joy of autism & you don’t have to be autistic or know someone autistic to learn about it however if a child learns about autistic children and how to treat them they will learn they are truly phenomenal! I’m Autistic & I’m Phenomenal’ available on Amazon September 1st ❤️♾️ #Autism #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Autistic

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Anyone else?! 🚫🎭

"I have been many different people in this life, but my favorite is the one beneath the mask"

- ME 💜

#Unmasked #happy #authenticity #BeYourself #selfadvocacy #happyplace #FollowYourPassion #growthmindset #neurodivergent #nd #Autistic #ADHD #BFRB #TOCD #BeneathTheMask #navigatingneurodivergence

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Listen to Autistics.

Autistics are the real Autism experts. Nothing about us without us. Listen to Autistic people.

#Autistic #actuallyautistic #audhd #adhd #Autism #cptsd #gad #AutismAcceptance #stimming #ASD #overwhelmed #executivefunctiondisorder #executivedysfunction #Hyperfocus #hypervigilant #sensoryoverstimulation #sensoryissues #sensorypain #speechless #echolalia #

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It hurts

The most heartbreaking thing about being diagnosed #Autistic late for me is how many benefits and possible support systems I might have missed out on when I was younger. And being ostracized for struggles and mannerisms out of my control. #LateDiagnosis #Disabled #Disability

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Being diagnosed late can be traumatic

Being diagnosed #Autistic later in life can be such a traumatic time because on one hand, yeah I now know who I am and why I am the way that I am but on the other hand.. the friends and family that would constantly tell me I was "too sensitive", "too emotional","too much", "too loud", "too quiet" etc, we're condemning me for things I can't control. For the way my brain fucking developed. The way I process life. It's also suddenly brought to light that while not much, the new fits and resources and help I could've gotten, I just had to do without. Do you know how isolating that is?

And for me it wasn't like a gradual thing. Everything sort of hit me all at once. #Autism #LateDiagnosis

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I thought I could hold on.

Grief has hit me in many different ways today. Grief for a community I lost. Grief for my grandma who died in 2019. And grief for the person I used to be and will never be again due to an illness many act like I'm faking, it's in my head, or just downright condescending.
My mom texted again to say goodnight. I have not replied. It was a stupid Bitmoji again. It hurts like hell seeing it. My heart feels stomped on.
On top of the emotional pain, the physical pain keeps getting worse daily. It was a little better yesterday and I had hope, a tiny bit of light at the end of tunnel, it was swiftly put out. I was stupid to have hope. Abled body people do not get what it's like to start to have a tiny bit of hope that you're body is going to behave, not be your fucking prison, then it get snatched away. I'm losing hope and I think I should just forget about getting better. I'm back in darkness. I can't be positive or find a silver lining right now. Not with this. I can't even joke about it anymore. It's hell. It's literal hell.
I long to do things and go places. I want to go to the library, I want to go downtown to the library next month for events and things, do pride in June, do the comic con, do things. The harsh reality? I probably won't be able to. I need to accept it. The problem with accepting this is it makes not want to live. This isn't living. This is hell. I hate my body with a fucking passion. It betrayed me more than anyone has in my honest opinion and it's my own fucking body. My mind has betrayed me too. I don't know how to live like this.

How do you fight your own body and mind when you're trapped with it 24/7?

#CheckInWithMe #chonicpain #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #ChronicIllness #Fibromyalgia #CFS #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigue #CPTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Autistic #Autism #Anxiety #ChronicAnxiety #PanicDisorder #ADHD

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Pain is hitting bad again today, a long winded rant, I apologize. TW: mention of suicide in relation to a toxic parent and mention of sexual abuse

One other thing: there is swearing in this. If that's not for you, please move on.

I wanna scream it hurts so bad right now. I wanna just fade away. Psychiatrist/counseling office says they support me but last week my counselor outright ignored a trigger so I told him I can no longer work with him. He also said he only does 12 sessions but gave me more. Excuse my language but how the fuck can anyone work through anything in 12 sessions? Especially when someone doesn't trust counselors? Dude outright said it's surprising I even opened up to him and then pulls this shit. Today I'm in extreme pain and mental health is declining and last week the my psychiatrists MA said they can't support me all the time, use the crisis line. Well news flash the crisis line has made me worse and has hurt me, I've called back once before a call back sobbing and the lady asks "Why did you call back early?" As I was sobbing. So yeah call a line that only gives a fuck if you're actively suicidal and willing to go to the hospital. Which I've explained to them.
Oh and hospitals? If you want to hear extreme trauma, I'll inform you of my psych ward stay last year which my providers know about. My mom also knows and threatened to send me back to the same place. Well news flash mother you don't have power of attorney, all you can get is cops to do a wellness check who frankly won't do anything unless there's a danger, and I can get my psychiatrist to vouch I'm fine with your so called "threat" you think I did. Well guess what? That wasn't a threat at all or some stupid shit like that. I've asked people and they're confused. And I've never been a daughter to you? Well guess what you've never been a mom because I lost my mom when grandma died too because you've never been one.
Oh and saying shit when I ask for support like "oh what do you want me to say go...." I'm not going to say the rest before I bet people can guess.
Then you text to me say goodnight nightly like nothing is wrong. Like you did nothing. You even said you have no responsibility for anything. You even said you're confused as to how you're responsible. Remember the 6yrs of lawsuits you put me through when I begged crying not to do them against the man who molested and ****** me? Well that caused 6 additional years of trauma. And you said I had to do it for you and dad because you were hurt too. Well what about me? The one who lived through that shit? The one was relentlessly attacked by attorneys? The one who blames themselves still because you put blame on me by saying I gave you PTSD? When I wouldn't even wish this shit on him. Why am I the only one at fault here? WHY? Because you can't understand how a 15-16yo can be manipulated and groomed by a 50yo to hate their parents? Because you can't understand how it was traumatic? Well guess what I said no a couple times and learned fast it wouldn't go my way. I did say yes to a lot of things and blame myself to this day. 13yrs later.
Then to add the cherry on top, my brother had a fucked childhood cause of me. He told me he witnessed all the arguments and had to see that. My mom told me some lady yelled at them in a store due to what happened with that man or something I said and he was there. He went to his school counselor crying why his sister was always mad at the family. And worse. Yeah I know I fucked his childhood thanks for the reminder.

If anyone read all this, thanks and I apologize if it was triggering. I tried my best to warn people. I am struggling but trying my best and that's all I got right now. There is more to what my parents have said and done. I don't know how to handle it anymore or handle people defending them. This also doesn't cover the stuff I've been through with doctors the past few weeks or a lot of other stuff that has happened. It's been hell. My counselor seriously didn't think there'd be an emergency last Monday, and over a week later hell has just gotten a lot warmer, between the pain getting extremely worse, my parents and other things. I think I better just settle in and accept it by now. As a song from Bring Me The Horizon says: Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in.

#CPTSD #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Autism #Autistic #PanicDisorder #toxicparents #SexualAbuse #SuicidalThoughts #Fibromyalgia #CFS #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigue #EmotionalAbuse #Advice #help #Arthritis #MedicalTrauma #counselors #SexualTrauma #ChidlhoodTrauma

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