3 Ways Bipolar Mania and Hypomania Changes Me
Hypomania or mania can feature many noticeable differences. Some of those are clearly visible, while others are not. While everyone experiences mood episodes differently, I wanted to share three ways hypomania and mania change me.
1. Changes in writing.
“Writer’s block” does not present as an issue. Some describe this as a “flow,” when writing comes pretty effortlessly. During these times, I can write and write and write. I’m not saying these are high-quality pieces, although some of my favorite pieces were written in a hypomanic or manic state. Mostly, this is quantity rather than quality. At a manic level, I can’t even really write eloquent pieces… it’s just like a tangle of different ideas going all in different directions, ones which appear all magically linked to me at the time, but do not make sense to anyone else. I have read of hypergraphia being associated with mania, but I don’t know if what I experienced was to that degree, although it did feel like an obsessive need to get down all of my thoughts and ideas, since they all appeared to be genius.
2. Changes in appearance.
Can I pull of this blue lipstick? Heck yeah, I can. Should I wear this revealing crop top? Yes, you look so good. Should I dye my hair burgundy? Absolutely! Before hypomania or mania, I never dyed my hair, wore daring clothing or put on much makeup. During an elevated state, I might be seen with purple lipstick, heavy mascara, 4-inch Kors heels (my latest manic purchase/impulsive splurge), and a short dress. I have been told my makeup is “loud.” My changes have been so quick that, one time, my roommate saw me from a distance on the street and did not even recognize me.
3. Changes in plans for future.
My confidence surges to such a high level that when I look to the future, I see only grand opportunities with no possibility of failure. I feel certain I could start a business, or get into a top clinical psychology program, or revolutionize the mental healthcare system… with no experience or qualifications.
How does hypomania or mania change you? Do you relate?
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash
Anja is a blogger with a passion for mental health advocacy. She often writes about mania, depression, and anxiety, from a first-person perspective. Being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (Type 1) in 2016 has given her insight into the struggles many face with finding the right diagnosis, treatment, and providers. She hopes that sharing her story will create more open, honest conversations about mental health, fighting the stigma one conversation at a time.
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