35 Things People With Bipolar Disorder Want Their Friends to Know
For theĀ 5.7 million American adults who live with bipolar disorder, support from family and friends can be crucial. But sometimes through all the ups and downs, miscommunications and misunderstandings can occur on both ends ā it can be hard to know what to do or what to say when a friend with bipolar disorder isnāt doing well.
ā¢ What is Bipolar disorder?
So, we joined the International Bipolar Foundation to ask people with bipolar disorder to tell us one thing they want their friends to know.
Hereās what they had to say:
1. āSometimes I may be more dependent on you, and other times I may really not want to be around you. It doesnāt mean I love you any less.ā āĀ Jasmine Lancaster
2. āIt does not define who I am.ā āĀ Dorothy Braaten
3. āIām not using it asĀ an excuse.ā āĀ Crystal Saulter
4. āI want them to know I worked hard to survive. Quite literally, it has taken so much effort to accomplish half of what many of my friends and family have. Iām not lazy. But most of all, I want them to know bipolar is more than a catchphrase or a mood swing.ā āĀ Julie McSorley
5. āI want my friends to know I love and appreciate them even if I donāt always show it. When I have to cancel or reschedule plans due to this illness, itās not because I donāt like them or donāt value them. There are just some days where I feel I canāt go out and itās nothing against them personally. I love spending time with them when Iām feeling well and able. They mean the world to me.ā āĀ Kait Weihofen
6. āI love it when you call or text me. Sometimes I donāt reach out. It helps to feel remembered.ā āĀ Catherine Mather
7. āI sometimes shut off because everything is overwhelming; please donāt judge me. Iām not purposely being ignorant or a bad friend; I simply canāt be social when my head is so full.ā āĀ Jayde LoveCanoe Potter
8. āIām truly sorry if I ever upset you when I am unwell.ā āĀ Karen Imogen Senior
9. āIād like my friends and family to know there are days I feel really good with nearly ānormalā mood patterns, and other days Iām barely making it and Iām struggling not to let it show. All these days may look the same to you. Please remember they arenāt the same, so help when you can, hug always and stay positive when sometimes I canāt.ā āĀ Patti Rowe
10. āItās just as frustrating for me as it is for you.ā āĀ Deanna White
11. āLearn about it.ā āĀ Nate Nelson
12. āI already have a therapist and a psychiatrist ā from you I just want friendship. ā āĀ Shannon Galpin
13. āDonāt pity me. It makes it worse.ā āĀ Karrah D. Salmons
14. āItās not anything you did wrong; my moods shift entirely on their own, and it has nothing to do with you.ā āĀ Kristin McElligott
15. āYou can be a productive person despite having bipolar disorder. I haveĀ bipolar, I am not bipolar.ā āĀ Catherine Hayes
16. āYou canāt catch it.ā āĀ Larry Rubenstien
17. āIt can be achingly lonely without the support of friends and family.ā āĀ Ann Hayes
18. āI want my friends to know how grateful I am for their patience, support and understanding. Even whenĀ Iām depressed, my friends keep me in the loop so I donāt feel isolated.Ā When Iām manic, they keep me safe without undermining my freewill.Ā On hard days, they are there for me any time day or night.Ā When I say nasty things about myself, theyāre there to build me up.Ā I can be hard to be to love, I know. But the fact that you keep loving me every day makes this big old roller coaster a little less scary.ā āĀ Samantha Elizabeth Paardekooper
19. āItās the same old me under the mania and depression.ā āĀ Nick Tewson
20. āI feel everything immensely and with every part of me. Some say itās a curse, but Iām trying to make it my unique blessing.ā āĀ Nikki Childers
21. āIām so grateful for you. Not just for the big things, but all the small ones. The gentle check ins, reminders and questions that help. Answering the frantic text message. Sending me an unexpected postcard. The celebrations of small victories. All of it adds up.ā āĀ Vanessa Kinsey
22. āI donāt call you because I think Iām bothering you, and when you call I think youāre mad at me for not calling. I know itās silly, so leave me a message or text me. Iām still here.ā āĀ Margaret Ritcey
23. āNot everyone with bipolar disorder is the same.ā āĀ Jay Hilliker
24. āWhen I push you away is when I actually need you the most.ā āĀ Jennifer Jobe
25. āHaving bipolar disorder can be hard. When youāre honest about my behavior, it helps. Thank you. Your ability to love me and focus on my strengths allows me to love and be strong in return. You have never judged me. Youāve loved me through so many challenges. And youāve accepted my assistance during challenges of your own. You help me feel whole. And I love you for that.ā āĀ Sandra Sweeney
26. āPlease know Iām doing all I can to be well. Pleasant company, not advice, is what I need.ā āĀ Wendy Lewis
27. āIām sorry I lashed out when you were trying to help. Itās hard when youāre first diagnosed, but with therapy and meds you can grab hold of your life once again and be happy.ā āĀ Frances Hnyda
28. āRight now, Iād like my friends to know I love them. I really, really appreciate them being there for me even though I find it Ā hard to let people in, and even harder to let anyone help me. I really wish I was able to hang out more. Iām looking forward to this current episode ending so I can hang out with you all again. Also, I want them to know they can always talk to me about any problems they have. Other peopleās problems donāt make me feel worse, and I like to be there for them, too.ā āĀ Becky Elle
29. āMy friends help me keep my pieces together.ā āĀ Keaton Behrendsen
30. āI want my friends to know I canāt always handle life the way they can. I want them to know that a lot of times I wear a mask for their benefit; I smile and laugh on the outside, but on the inside Iām crying or maybe just numb. I would want them to know that if they loved me anyway, that would be the best gift ever.ā āĀ Trenda Marie Berryhill
31. āPlease be patient.ā āĀ Lindsay Barnett
32. āIām fighting 24/7 to be OK. And when I āseemā OK, it doesnāt mean Iām cured. It means Iām fighting my hardest.ā āĀ Sara Kearse
33. āIām the same person youāve grown to love, just understand Iām not perfect.ā āĀ Debbie Langston Brown
34. āEvery day is different for me. Go with the flow with me.ā āĀ Angie Leanne Ryan
35. āI am who I am and Iāve achieved what Iāve achieved despite having bipolar and because of having bipolar. I push myself to be perfect, loving, overly helpful and empathetic to make up for the guilt and shame I sometimes feel after an episode. But mostly at the end of the day, I want you to understand me.Ā I canāt break the stigma without you.ā āĀ Leah Cameron
*Answers have been edited and shortened.