To Friends and Family Who See Me Sharing Articles About Borderline Personality Disorder
I know it can seem annoying or like I am pushing information at you, but I really just want you to understand. I keep hoping to find articles I can relate to that can describe more eloquently than I can what it is I live with every day.
You see, I love you, and I want you to know why it is I cancel plans with what looks like no good reason, or why I decline to do something that seems simple to anyone else but causes panic attacks in me. I want you to know on the days I seem to be out of control or so wildly emotional that it’s not me just being melodramatic. I have a brain that is wired incorrectly from trauma. I have to live every day with that brain, and it will never recover.
Yes, I go to therapy, and I learn tools to put in my toolbox of coping mechanisms. Yes, I have medication to help with the depression and anxiety that comes along with my diagnosis. However, I often feel so uncomfortable or judged when I try and talk about it from my perspective that most of the time all I can do is share the articles that ring with truth to me — the articles I feel describe what I am dealing with every day.
Having a personality disorder that undermines my own self-confidence at every turn means that much of the time I feel like I am nothing but a burden on those I love. I’m sharing articles to my social media in a quiet attempt to help you understand.
So when you pass by a new article I’ve posted, take a moment to read it and try to understand what I am conveying by sharing it. Don’t be afraid to ask me questions. I won’t offer information otherwise due to my own inherent fear of being rejected for the challenges I face. I am trying to be more open about who I am and what I am facing. I hope you can do the same.
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Stock image by welcomia
Bee Moore, a self-taught artist, began exploring her creative side as therapy for PTSD associated with Military Service. A Disabled Veteran, she works from home, with her studio assistants: Bandit the Pittie, Sky the Husky Mix, Dot the Cat, and Grand Duchess Winter of Kittyness. In 2010 she took the plunge and began to sell her abstract pieces - first privately to family and friends, and later setting up shop on etsy where her pieces are quickly snapped up. This year she has taken a further step by starting a Patreon page, as well as attending conventions as a vendor. Her influences include Claude Monet, Jean-Paule Riopelle, Franz Kline, Jackson Pollock, Courtney Bailey (www.twistofunique.com), Sarah Wade (Sarah Wade Art), and many others. Her favorite part of the creative process is the focus and feel of creating something new and beautiful. Her work reflects a body working elements into a form that heals the mind for a renewed spirit.
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