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How This Holiday Season Is Different as I Face Breast Cancer

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Christmas day has always been a day free of care. As I reminisce about my past Christmas,’ I have so many amazing memories, from vacations and family gatherings to Mike’s birthday celebrations on Christmas night.

As our Christmas evening came to an end in the past, I would usually be preparing for the “after party” as we awaited for the arrival of some of our closest friends. But last night I found myself trying to keep my mind busy by cleaning and getting everything in line for today. Surgery is today at 12:30 p.m. with an arrival time of 10:30 a.m. and I am a nervous wreck!

It’s so strange how our world can get turned upside down in the blink of an eye. How our worries and mindset can do a total 360 in a matter of months.

I am what I thought was a healthy 36-year-old wife and mother of four, who is very active and on-the-go with kids and work. Worrying from day to day how I will have enough hours in the day to accomplish every single task that needs to be accomplished.

This year has been quite the storm, but I’ve finally found the calm. But (as I have learned from my past), after the storm passes and darkness becomes light, if you search far enough you can always find a rainbow.

As I know the battle that lies ahead of me, I am prepared to go hard and stay fierce and beat this. Cancer was definitely not something I had planned for this year — although I have always had the worry of cancer, but not so much at this age because I still felt somewhat young.

But, cancer can happen to anyone.

Everything said my lumps weren’t cancerous, but after a mammogram and a biopsy, it turned out otherwise.

Women, please be cautious at all ages of changes in your breasts. For me, the last few months before finding the lumps I had lots of swelling, tenderness and even swore some days I was pregnant (although my tubes are tied) —  until taking a pregnancy test proved otherwise. I even had a sore underarm and arm and found the lump in the middle of the night.

Cancer was the last thing I thought I would have on my plate during my son’s senior year. But, it can’t beat me and it won’t win.

Today’s surgery is a go after finding out I was nicotine-free at the plastic surgeon’s the other day (which was just one of the many upcoming mountains I must climb), but I have no doubts I can do this. After not smoking for two-and-a-half weeks I was able to move my surgery up and get in there and start this battle.

Please keep my family and I in your prayers. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I’m also wishing you all a happy upcoming new year.

Thank you to all who support me and my family and have been there for us. There’s a small village of special people (you all know who you are) with the kind words, gifts, cards, and all of the above. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart — you don’t know what it feels like to be so loved. #FriendsDontLetFriendsFightAlone #FuckCancer

This post was originally published on Oh! THAT Family.

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Getty Images photo via prudkov

Originally published: December 26, 2017
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