The Scene From 'Gossip Girl' That Helps Me Get Through the Urge to Purge

Editor’s note: If you live with an eating disorder, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “NEDA” to 741-741.

“Gossip Girl.” What an iconic show. Like many my age, I have seen it all the way through multiple times and it never fails to make me laugh, smile, cry or just feel. But, there is one scene in particular I go to whenever I have the urge to make myself throw up. I curl up in blankets and just watch this scene over and over.

Any true “Gossip Girl” fan knows the Thanksgiving episodes are the best. The Thanksgiving episode of season 1, “Blair Waldorf Must Pie,” is my personal favorite. In the episode, Blair finds out her dad is not coming home for Thanksgiving and gets very upset. About 17 minutes in, she binges and flashbacks are shown of her struggle with bulimia and it leaves off with her staring at her reflection. The episode switches over to Thanksgiving at the Humphrey household where Serena, Blair’s best friend, receives a call from Blair. She tries to tell her she’s in the middle of dinner, but immediately says she’ll be right over. Dan asks if everything is OK and she says it isn’t, but it will be and she can’t say more, but assures him it doesn’t involve them. She excuses herself and whispers something to her mother who responds with how she is such a good friend, and leaves.

At around 23 minutes, Serena knocks on Blair’s bathroom door and says, “Hey, it’s me” as she opens it to find Blair sitting against the wall, tears staining on her face. Blair says, “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” as Serena sits down next to her and gives her a hug. She wipes Blair’s tears from her eyes, kisses her head and suggests they take a walk.

Serena blows me away in these two scenes more than any other. I understand it’s just a show, but these scenes depict what so many people struggle with and go through — issues often glossed over by the media. When I watch this episode, my heart is filled with gratitude. Because I know I have people in my life like Serena. People I can call, people who would come over and sit with me if I did “mess up.” Sometimes in college, I feel like my support network is far away, but these scenes remind me they’re still there. They’re right there. They are Serena wiping the tears from my eyes, going on walks with me and just being there.

I love this series. I love this episode. And I love Blake Lively (Serena) and Leighton Meester (Blair).

Thank you for exposing a secret few like to show.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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Photo via “Gossip Girl” Facebook page.