The Mighty Logo

I'm a Hopeless Romantic With a Disability

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

“Why don’t you date a person with a disability?” I hear this question all the time. It’s starting to feel really repetitive. The thing is I wouldn’t mind dating a girl with a disability. I would welcome it; we share the same experiences, we roll out every day and disabled girls don’t feel sorry for you. However, I mustn’t allow disability to stop me from exploring all options in terms of love. I write this as I listen to Shania Twain’s “Still the One,” dreaming of a romantic, blissful adventure.

My love life has been a little off-kilter, however I have experienced love and attempted to give love to the ones I loved most. I have a weakness for taken women — the forbidden fruit of my existence. It’s not that I’m trying to break up relationships or hurt feelings, I just develop feelings of love and affection for women I like and the only time I shut those feelings off is to respect the sanctity and beauty of marriage. Otherwise, I’m very obvious and open about my affections. I’ve had my opportunities at love, but I didn’t reciprocate; that’s probably my fault.

As a romantic, I tend to ask questions. Is my wheelchair attractive to the opposite sex? Is the fact that I openly state I’m in a wheelchair and I’m proud of it confusing to able-bodied girls? Will I meet a fellow rolling female and fall in love? I see disabled women on the internet, but it’s really hard to find one just rolling around. Should I go to the city? Why do I have to use online dating when I’d rather talk to a disabled girl or able-bodied girl in the park, at a restaurant or in the produce section? These are the thoughts that swirl around in my brain.

Let’s talk about the birds and bees. I’ve thought about what it would it like to be with fellow disabled women in a moment of intimacy and possibly have to be helped out. It seems weird, but it’s definitely something I’ve thought about. Some disabled people I’ve talked are scared to be in a relationship with a fellow roller simply based on this. While it would be easier with an able-bodied girl, I don’t think it matters because “love is love,” right? With that being said, I know it’s going to be magical either way.

Questions about relationships happen all the time, especially in my mind. I’ve been over-flirtatious, emotional, whisked away in puppy love and fearless even with rejection as a possibility. However, I hope people know I will never discriminate and I’m always open to any possibility love brings me. I’m pretty sure my time will come, but for my fellow hopeless romantics, keep fighting and love will come your way.

Getty image by Kieferpix.

Originally published: August 26, 2018
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home